Thursday, May 26, 2011

Officially Infertile

As always I apologize for what some might consider over sharing. Please forgive me. Please also don't ask what provokes me to share some of the most intimate details of my life for the entire world (who reads English).

At my Doctor's appointment the other day, I got the news. I am officially, most likely not able to conceive children without the aid of modern science. It was an interesting experience. I was caught off guard, and obviously devastated, but mercifully (for everyone involved) calm and rational as I listened to my doctor and then his nurse run through my various options of what to do next. I collected all sorts of information, went home, and told a very compassionate husband the news. IVF aka invitro fertilization aka super expensive, non-insurance covered procedure, is most likely our best shot at starting a family of our very own. For years, we have said "No, we hate you, IVF. You are too expensive." But somehow, hearing the official news, makes parting with the money a touch easier. Because when all is said and done, which do we want more, a house or a family; a new car (one with working AC and trunk) or a family; a cruise next summer or a family? As much as I would love that cruise a family is just more important. So we will suck it up, pull out our long-term savings and say, "you better be grateful you expensive baby you."

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Miracles Happen

With a sigh of relief and a shout for joy I would like to announce that Matt has an internship!!! Wahoo and praises be to Heaven. And where is that internship? Much to the chagrin of our ward here in State College, we will be leaving for the summer and heading to Hawaii. Matt got an internship with First Hawaiian Bank and will be working there starting in just two weeks. Matt's family still lives in Hawaii, and even though several of his siblings have graduated from college, somehow everyone will be there for one last summer before everyone heads in different adult-like directions. I will fortunately be able to take my job with me which will give me something to do with my day other than lounge on the beach. But even more fortunately, it continues part-time, which will give me something to do with my day other than sit in my room all day in front of my computer. Wonderful things all around. In addition, the LDS temple will be a fifteen minute walk instead of a 3.5 hour drive so I will hopefully avail myself of its blessings on a weekly, if not a semi-weekly basis. Again, wahoo!!
By the way, the procedures I went in for this week went as well as one could possibly hope. Very routine. That's the way I like it. So, while my tummy continues to swell beyond normal proportions and I try not to sneeze, cough, or laugh too riotously, I am doing very well and healing quite nicely. Thanks to everyone, especially my beloved family, who more than did their part in praying for my well being. Good job guys!!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Two Ports Open for In-Coming Ships

I am excited, nervous, impatient, hopeful, and curious to see how this week goes. Two major things are going on in our lives.

1. Matthew might actually get an internship this week!!! When Matt was in law school, clerkships were difficult to come by. Matt worked one summer for his attorney grandfather and worked one summer for the company where I was then working. When he was done with law school, he thankfully had a job, but it was by no means a dream job or even a long-term job. It was basically the only thing available after many months of searching. So when Matt started his MBA, he was determined that this experience would be different. He threw himself into doing anything he could to get a good internship that would hopefully lead to a great job. After so many months of searching and working and praying, it was getting kind of frustrating, as noted in my earlier post. But this past week, the windows of heaven opened and he began getting offers. Maybe not offers from big-named "glamorous" companies, but exciting offers that don't leave Matt feeling stuck or desperate. We still don't have many details and he is still waiting on one more company to make up their mind, but the Lord has been very good to us and we are extremely grateful and humbled to see His hand in our lives.

2. Again, like I said in my earlier post, this week I will have surgery that will hopefully help me both with painful menstrual cycles as well as with getting my innards cleaned out and ready for babies. A year ago I felt impressed that there were indeed children meant for our family and that they were ready to come. A little while after that initial impression I was diagnosed with fairly significant hypothyroidism. Hypothyroidism doesn't always result in infertility, but with the extremely low levels of thyroid my body was producing, multiple doctors have expressed their surprise that I wasn't in a coma, let alone able to conceive. So onto medication I went, hopeful that this might help me get my body ready for children. Many months went by and I had what I thought was a ovarian cyst rupture. I called and made a DR appointment to get it checked out and prayed that if something needed to happen to get my body ready that it would be obvious to the DR. Two DRs appointments later it was determined that I have multiple cysts on either ovaries and a fibroid wrapped in a polyp hanging out in my uterus. So with that I was signed up for surgery. Surely, I thought, this is an answer to my prayer. My body is being prepped and with faith and even more prayers, hopefully a ship will come into port for me as well as for my husband.

Wow, so much anticipation and excitement!