I killed a cockroach

Much like most women, I don't like bugs. I don't like to see them, I don't like to kill them. This is one reason why I got married, so I would no longer have to kill my own. Thankfully for me, Matt indulges me enough not to harass me about this little idiosyncrasy of mine.

Hawaii bugs are a whole different story though. Especially the cockroaches. There must be something in the water because these bad boys are at least two inches long and they fly. FLY!! Ugh, just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. And it doesn't seem to matter how clean your house is, if you live in Hawaii, you are going to get a cockroach from time to time.

A few weeks ago, I saw a cockroach in my bathroom. Matt wasn't around but thankfully his brother was and graciously dispatched the thing while I cowered in another room. This morning, I found another one. Matt had already left for work and no one else was either up or otherwise around so the task was left to me. After a moment of indecision I picked up one of Matt's shoes and went after it determined to be an adult.

I had to chase it a little bit, but unluckily and luckily enough for me it was too big to just skitter under some box so it was trapped and we both knew it. I landed what I hoped would be a killing blow, saw gore spurt from its body and ran from the scene utterly grossed out. I thought I was brave enough for the deed, but maybe not. I went to get breakfast hoping someone else would come along to clean up my mess. After about a minute, I gathered some more courage and with a large paper towel went to finish the job.

I looked in on him only to find him twitching and squirming still alive but definitely mortally wounded. I hadn't counted on this and once again I lost my nerve. I went back to my cereal but, as utterly and seriously grossed out as I was, I couldn't stop thinking about him suffering because I was too sissy to do the job properly. So back in I went to hopefully finish him off. He was there still moving his crazy long antennae and even after I landed a few more blows with Matt's shoe, he continued to wiggle even if only weakly. This sucker was not dying anytime soon.

That did it, it was just too much. If this guy was going to leave this world it wasn't going to be at my hands. I was just about to start making enough noise to wake someone else up when, mercifully, Matt's mom came home to clean him up. I guess in the ensuing moments he had finally made the decision to die, so I did at least put him out of his misery, but I still felt bad to make my MIL finish what I couldn't. So along with a whole host of other neuroses, Hi, I'm Sara and I'm a sissy.