Sunday, October 30, 2011

Mom and Pops Stockings

I recently made these absolutely adorable stockings (though I may be partial).  Matthew likes them but wanted ownership of one.  I'm not sure I had ownership of a stocking growing up, but apparently he did and still wants to be able to do.  It was kind of weird adding these new titles to ourselves/stockings but I think they still look pretty dang cute.

And yes, Matthew chose his new title.

Monday, October 24, 2011

My awkward moment with Hilary Weeks

I recently took a trip with 5 other women, some I knew well, others I didn't, to a weekend event in Rochester, NY called Time Out for Women.  It's a predominantly (as in 99%) LDS event, though definitely not exclusively so.  It was a lovely weekend, far better and more meaningful than I remotely anticipated, but that is not what I am writing about.  I am writing about my awkward moment with Hilary Weeks.

Hilary Weeks is a singer, songwriter who writes about her faith and the ups and downs of motherhood.  She's actually a very witty woman, and though I had never met her I felt an odd kinship with her.  I'm guessing many people do.  I bought a couple of her CD's and though I'm not of the star-struck variety, she was signing them so I thought I might as well stand in line and get mine signed too. 

While standing there, this odd thought came to mind that I should have her sign it to my nickname Sariasis. I have no idea why Sara wouldn't have worked just as well, but at that moment in that location, Sariasis sounded infinitely more fun.  My friend, supporting me in my line-waiting endeavor, thought I was strange but encouraged me nonetheless.  My thought was that she would either find it entertaining and we would be new BFF's or she would find me very weird. 

We are not BFF's.  She asked me if I was serious, and when my friend confirmed that I was, she very politely and confusedly signed my nickname, asking me time and again just how she was supposed to spell it.  She got it down, I expressed my enjoyment of her music, and just when I thought the awkward moment had ended, my friend asked to take a picture with her.  Ever the pro, though I'm sure she was still a little worried about this seemingly off-kilter woman, she dutifully smiled in our little picture before moving on to a hopefully more sane admirer.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Lazy or Just Anti-Social?

Just in case, everyone doesn't already know, Matt is here at Penn State getting his MBA (Master's in Business Administration).  There are a few program-sponsored events, some of which we attend, throughout the year.  But it has recently come to my attention that there are a whole host of other parties and activities that my fellow LDS MBA families attend that I know nothing about, and honestly, am okay not being a part of. 

I wonder if one of the other MBA wives telling me about her active MBA social life, was afraid I'd feel bad for not knowing everyone else in the program and not feeling included.  But really, honestly and truly, I don't care.  Matt isn't the most outgoing guy so, while he knows and likes most of his classmates, he really isn't into the socializing scene.  And he treats school very much like a job.  He studies hard, puts in his hours, but at the end of the day, he comes home to his little wife and we have our other life.  Truthfully, our other life doesn't consist of much other than dinner and vegging before bed, but its the way we like it. 

Matthew has his life at school and I have my life working (on occassion), sewing (more than I should), sleeping (got to keep that growing babe healthy right?), and trying my hand at various domestic skills.  I socialize mostly with other women from church and I teach seminary.  I don't really feel my life is lacking in daily activities.  So, while I know I'm missing out on all sorts of potential friendship, missionary, and other opportunities, am I lazy or just anti-social to not really care about this whole other realm of social possibilities?

Sunday, October 9, 2011

One Womb, Two Embryos, One Baby

In conjunction with my IVF, I had 13 eggs sucked from my enlarged ovaries at the beginning of September.  Not a huge number by IVF standards, but definitely respectable.  The next day I got a phone call that of those 13 embryos only 5 were mature.  Of those 5, only 3 fertilized.  Going from 13 to 5 was kind of a let down.  I had anticipated at least 10 being viable for fertilization.  And only having 3 fertilized didn't give me great odds of having any that would be available for transfer as embryos don't exactly have the highest mortality rate.  But I felt confident then as I do now that the Lord is intimately engineering this whole process and that surely He wanted me to know that He was in charge.  So, I laughed to myself, threw up my arms and tried my absolute best not to worry.

A couple of days later (Labor Day) Matt and I drove down to Rockville, MD for the last time to have two of them transferred into my eagerly awaiting womb.  The last embryo, kept for observation and hopefully to freeze for later didn't survive the next few days and was eventually discarded.  For the next couple of weeks I did my best to stay calm and patient while I awaited the news of the success or failure of our fertility attempt, but by the time the 20th of September rolled around I was beyond ready to know.  The three hour wait between the blood test and the results were excruciating, but thankfully the news came back super positive.

The target HcG level for my blood test was between 100-200 and mine was 676.  Not only good, but fabulous.  Could the high level mean I was pregnant with twins?  This made me nervous and hopeful and excited.  Everyone I knew was hopeful for twins for me, and twins would definitely jumpstart my little family.  I became sure that we would be having twins while Matthew continued to hope for one at a time.  The next step was an ultrasound at 7 weeks to see how my little embryos were doing and find out just how many they were.

The morning of the appointment I prayed that whatever the outcome that Matt and I would feel at peace, thinking at the time that it would surely be Matthew who would need it most.  We got in to see the Ultrasound Tech but instead of the two I felt certain of she only found one baby.  My disappointment at only finding one lasted for only a moment.  When she finally turned the monitor so I could see, I saw the tiny little heartbeat flickering on the screen and at that moment I felt complete peace.  It was real.  Despite feeling little or no pregnancy symptoms, I really had a little life growing inside me.

I felt a little shell shocked at its reality.  Is this really happening?  Did all the home pregnancy tests and the blood tests really not lie?  Am I really pregnant and is that really a heartbeat I see on the screen?  Somehow feeling sad there weren't two seemed completely ungrateful and inappropriate.  The kind technician gave us some pictures of our Wee Babe carefully pointing out where it was in the picture and we left for lunch.

We made it to downtown State College and after the initial shock passed I wanted to announce to everyone who passed us on the street that I had a baby growing inside me!!!  So there you have it.  I am not having twins, but I do have A Bun in My Oven!