Friday, November 11, 2011

12 Weeks Along

Hello my dear friends, I am now 12 weeks along in my little pregnancy, not quite out of my first trimester, but definitely moving along nicely.  My wee babe is still very small, but I am starting to see signs of her/him affecting the way I look.  I can still fasten most of my pants, and wear most of my shirts, but those shirts I really should have gotten rid of long ago because they were too tight have now all gone the way of the world.  There is a slight pudgy look to my tummy, and as vain as this sounds, I am not quite ready to have other people noticing it yet.  Totally fine and a little excited to notice it myself, but not quite ready for the comments.  But at the same time, and this is just how neurotic I am, Matthew and I went maternity clothes shopping for my birthday and when I asked a worker where I could find my desired wear, she looked me up and down and pronounced that I wasn't quite ready for it.  She, of course, directed me to the section (which was dismally small and unremarkable), but I wasn't ready for her response either.  Maybe, it's just everyone's fascination with the comings and goings of my body, maybe this is what other pregnant women say about their body not being their body anymore. That's its now open for public discourse and touching.

Okay, that little moment went on a little longer than anticipated, but one last thought before I move on.  I also went birthday maternity clothes shopping with my mother last week when I went to visit them in VA (they've finally moved to the East Coast and are a 4 hour drive away).  We went into Motherhood Maternity where they have baby tummies in the dressing rooms to help women see what they might look like 3 months further down the road.  I have to say, putting on that little tummy under my clothes, was not necessarily distressing, but it was for sure strange and a little uncomfortable to look at.  I've had the same average body with average proportions for 32 years.  I have finally gotten comfortable with all the idiosyncrasies of it and now it will never be the same.  My body in 3 and 6 months will look considerably different and while I am excited to meet the wee babe growing inside me, I haven't quite come to terms for what this little one will mean for my waist size.  Awful I know, but leave it to me to have issues even after finally getting what I've always wanted.  And sadly enough, this is probably the least of my issues.

Well, obviously I needed to get out my issues with my body.  So I will just close by saying that I feel great.  A little tired, and seriously acne-fied, but I haven't been sick at all, a little queasy a couple times a week, but that's about it.  I have no food cravings or aversions, I pee only slightly more than I did before, and Matthew at least hasn't noticed any changes to my emotions (though "Annie" has become infinitely more touching to me now which I find odd).  Other than my pudgy tummy, my need to sleep a lot, and not recognizing my complexion, this baby really hasn't caused any real distress to my everyday life.  Good job baby!! May you continue to be this easy!