2015 in Review

It's interesting what a little reflection will do. Matthew's brother and sister-in-law (Aaron and Marie) came down for New Year's Eve and after we put babies to bed (after a super fun night with my sister, Melissa and her family) we were discussing the highs and lows of the year. And when I was discussing it with them that night I thought, meh, not too shabby of a year. Yeah, there were some hard things but overall, a solid year.

The next evening I looked at a video my tablet made for me of the pictures I took from the past year. As I watched a whole flood of sad emotions came in as I realized just what we had really gone through. In 2015 we experienced:

1. Continued infertility.
2. Stress over uncertainty at work.
3. Applying for new jobs.
4. Selling a house that did not go remotely as well as I had hoped.
5. Moving from one coast to another.
6. Saying goodbye to an area, ward, friends, house and grocery store with which we had fallen madly in love.
7. Being homeless (ok unsettled) for 6 weeks (4 of which I was a single parent).
8. Buying a new house with multiple things breaking down shortly after we moved into it.
9. Transitioning to a new ward, friends, house and grocery store and having it be way harder than anticipated (is it getting older that makes it so much harder??)
10. Miscarriage.
11. Doing all of this while raising two children deep in the throes of terrible 2 and 3-ness.

I'm not saying that my year was harder than anyone else's year, but for me that is a lot of stress to go through in so short a period of time. I look at that list and think how did I make it through that with my sanity, marriage and testimony in tact. The answer? A very loving Heavenly Father who graced me with many tender mercies along the way (mainly through amazing and heaven-sent loved ones). The healing power of the Atonement that somehow makes hardships easier to bear. A wonderful husband who stepped up and became even more stupendous and loving and tender and thoughtful. 

And so while I never want to relive this past year ever again, I am grateful to have been able to come out the other side a bit more polished, a bit more sure of Heavenly Father's love for me and a lot more in love with my husband.