This Website is Not About Psoriasis - Sorry

Snow Pictures

2012-01-20T08:02:00.000-08:00

Since we moved away from Portland, Matthew has been hoping, with each new winter, for a snowmageddon. One of those crazy storms that comes through and dumps two feet of snow and shuts down the city. Matthew would actually be happy with just one, but so far no such luck. Wenatchee was good for four or five inches at a time, but Pennsylvania, so far, has had disappointing one and two inch accumulations. I really haven't bothered taking pictures of our snow since it's been so piddly, but last night the heavens dropped a couple of inches, this morning is glorious (as you can tell from the pictures), and I have nothing to do with my day, so clad in toasty warm snow pants, a big red fluffy coat and gortex gloves, I ventured across the street to the state game lands to take a couple of pictures of the snow among the trees.

I like the second picture the best, mostly because "they" grow crops back here, so they have a sprinkler system, but for some unknown reason they also water the surrounding bushes, Maybe they're afraid of forest fires? Also, for some unknown reason, they continue to water the bushes into the fall and winter, well after harvest time. It's odd, but the result are these beautiful ice creations. At least I think they're cool.

20 Week . . . Drum Roll Please

2012-01-10T11:11:00.000-08:00

This is me at 20 weeks on the beach near my in-laws house in Laie, Hawaii, which is on the North Shore of Oahu. Isn't that background lovely (minus the few bits of trash)?

A couple of days, a total of 10 hours on a plane, super swollen ankles, and utter exhaustion later, Matthew and I were back in State College eager to restart our life and to find out just what sort of baby we were having. I prayed, Matthew prayed, and I asked everyone we knew to pray that Wee Babe would show him/herself to us at our ultrasound appointment. While Matthew and I were excited and eager to have a little girl, we wanted to know one way or another even more. When the appointment started, the baby was in the WORST position to show off, but thankfully by the end HE had switched it up enough that the ultrasound tech was able to take a couple of pictures identifying that Wee Babe is now a Zachary Daniel Marler! A few hours of shock and ironic laughter later, Matthew and I are so excited to welcome this new addition into our family. He will have good company with his at least two other boy cousins (one more to determine) that will join the Booren family in 2012. While he is the first Marler grandchild, he will also be the twenty-second Booren grandchild, the 18th boy, and the 13th boy born in a row. We now not only have a full soccer team, but we are filling out a football team of boys as well!! Holy Hannah.

This is Taking too Long

2011-12-30T11:12:00.000-08:00

I realize I will catch a lot of flack for this, but I'll say it anyway. Pregnancy takes too long!! I am 19 weeks now and I think I could be ready for baby in another couple months not another 4 and a half.

2011 Miracles in Review

2011-12-25T10:41:00.000-08:00

Shortly after I graduated from college, I decided I should start acting like a full-fledged adult, complete with an adult job, adult furniture, and adult Christmas cards complete with a newsletter. Friends would marvel how a young single girl could have enough goings on to merit two pages worth of info, but I at least thought they were mildly entertaining.
For some reason, however, once I got married this very adult tradition ended. Who knows when I'll rejoin the land of adult Christmas cards, but this year, maybe I'll at least get out a newsletter post. . . .

Merry Christmas one and all. This year Matthew and I are coming to you from the great state of Pennsylvania, via Hawaii (for the holidays), to wish you holiday greetings and good cheer. At the beginning of the year, while Matthew was trying to nail down a summer internship, we adopted the motto "We Believe in Miracles." We pasted it on our bathroom mirror, I chanted it quietly to myself whenever life got a little too tense, and we tried our hardest to remember that miracles happen every day and they can surely happen for us. While this year has included much stress and heartache, it has nonetheless proven a year of miracles.

Miracle 1. Even though Matthew had seemingly endless amounts of first interviews (which I liked to think of as first dates), no one wanted to call him back for a second or third. It was incredibly frustrating, both for him to muster up the motivation to search for another opportunity that could likely end up in another rejection, and for me to watch him go through that while trying to stop myself from calling each company and bawling them out for not realizing my husband was the greatest thing they had going for them. It was a long school year, but after final exams had been graded, he got an offer from a company in Hawaii that would allow us to spend the summer with his family while he gained valuable experience. This was definitely a miracle. Especially considering the fact that all of the 5 Marler children would be in one place together for an entire summer, something that hadn't taken place since Matthew graduated from high school 12 years previous and will most likely never happen again. Both of us worked like crazy, me from his parent's basement, and Matthew from the First Hawaiian Bank Tower. While neither of us are crazy about the idea of living in either of our parent's basements ever again, it was a lovely summer, one that we will cherish forever.

Miracle 2. Ever since the spring of 2010, I have praying that if something needed to change in my body to prepare it for children, that those changes would become apparent. Shortly thereafter, I was diagnosed with extreme hypothyroidism. I had stats that still mystify doctors and definitely seemed a strong deterrent from getting pregnant. Around the same time I found out I have cysts on my ovaries. My doctor at the time didn't know how serious these cysts were since all women have them and they can't really assess the true nature of the problem without surgery. At the time, we a kept watch on them and hoped none of other ones decided to rupture. At the beginning of the next year, another one did leading me to more ultrasounds. Again, I prayed that if something needed to change in my body that it would be apparent to the doctors. At these ultrasounds I found that not only did I have ovarian cysts but I also had a fibroid in my uterus, definitely something that would need to come out if I wanted children. I opted for surgery on the fibroid and on an additional surgery that would investigate my ovaries. The initial surgery on my uterus was a complete success, the additional surgery, however, found that I have stage three (out of four) endometriosis on either ovary with nothing to be done to help them function properly. But . . . I still had hope for getting pregnant if I wanted to try IVF (invitro fertilization). This was a miracle in the sense that one, I finally, after 4 years, had concrete information as to why my womb did not want to open, two, that Matthew and I were finally willing to accept IVF as a means to starting our family, and three, that even as students we still had just enough money to pay for the treatment.

Miracle 3. IVF worked and on the first try! Given my internal issues, and the fact that IVF only works 50% of the time, we were so excited, relieved, and otherwise extremely grateful that it only took one cycle to get pregnant. What a miracle.

Miracle 4. Matthew got a wonderful offer for a great company in Pennsylvania that we were very excited to accept. My prayer for Matthew throughout law school and now through business school was for him to find a job he is excited about, can feel successful at, and pays enough to pay off student loans and maybe even buy a house someday. This job meets any and all requirements, and while it's not in a glamorous location, I'm sure we will fall in love with the area anyway. If we can fall in love with Wenatchee and State College, I'm sure Allentown will be a cinch. What a miracle that it is seemingly the perfect job with a stable as a table company, and it fell into place without all the heartache of last year.

We feel entirely blessed at this point in our lives and are excited to see what new challenges and adventure 2012 holds!

Thank you for indulging me this very long post. Here's to next year and adult Christmas cards!!

16 weeks

2011-12-09T09:02:00.000-08:00

So it appears that I have successfully made it to 16 weeks. Who knew. Anyway, life is still happy, and I am starting to show, which is actually pretty fun. Four weeks and we find out the sex of Wee Babe!

Official Pennsylvanians

2011-12-08T09:07:00.001-08:00

Wahoo for School!!! Matthew has been offered and has accepted a job with a chemical manufacturing company in Allentown, PA. Allentown is an hour north of Philadelphia and an hour and a half west of New York City. We are crazy excited on all sorts of levels!!

Pirates

2011-12-06T08:58:00.000-08:00

Here is the quilt I made for my sister-in-law for Christmas. Thankfully, I'm pretty sure she doesn't follow my blog. We didn't find out we had her for Christmas until Thanksgiving and we're leaving shortly for Christmas in Hawaii, so I didn't have tons of time. She is into pirates, so we ordered her some cool fabric and . . . I am pretty proud of how well it turned out in so short a time!

12 Weeks Along

2011-11-11T03:35:00.001-08:00

Hello my dear friends, I am now 12 weeks along in my little pregnancy, not quite out of my first trimester, but definitely moving along nicely. My wee babe is still very small, but I am starting to see signs of her/him affecting the way I look. I can still fasten most of my pants, and wear most of my shirts, but those shirts I really should have gotten rid of long ago because they were too tight have now all gone the way of the world. There is a slight pudgy look to my tummy, and as vain as this sounds, I am not quite ready to have other people noticing it yet. Totally fine and a little excited to notice it myself, but not quite ready for the comments. But at the same time, and this is just how neurotic I am, Matthew and I went maternity clothes shopping for my birthday and when I asked a worker where I could find my desired wear, she looked me up and down and pronounced that I wasn't quite ready for it. She, of course, directed me to the section (which was dismally small and unremarkable), but I wasn't ready for her response either. Maybe, it's just everyone's fascination with the comings and goings of my body, maybe this is what other pregnant women say about their body not being their body anymore. That's its now open for public discourse and touching.

Okay, that little moment went on a little longer than anticipated, but one last thought before I move on. I also went birthday maternity clothes shopping with my mother last week when I went to visit them in VA (they've finally moved to the East Coast and are a 4 hour drive away). We went into Motherhood Maternity where they have baby tummies in the dressing rooms to help women see what they might look like 3 months further down the road. I have to say, putting on that little tummy under my clothes, was not necessarily distressing, but it was for sure strange and a little uncomfortable to look at. I've had the same average body with average proportions for 32 years. I have finally gotten comfortable with all the idiosyncrasies of it and now it will never be the same. My body in 3 and 6 months will look considerably different and while I am excited to meet the wee babe growing inside me, I haven't quite come to terms for what this little one will mean for my waist size. Awful I know, but leave it to me to have issues even after finally getting what I've always wanted. And sadly enough, this is probably the least of my issues.

Well, obviously I needed to get out my issues with my body. So I will just close by saying that I feel great. A little tired, and seriously acne-fied, but I haven't been sick at all, a little queasy a couple times a week, but that's about it. I have no food cravings or aversions, I pee only slightly more than I did before, and Matthew at least hasn't noticed any changes to my emotions (though "Annie" has become infinitely more touching to me now which I find odd). Other than my pudgy tummy, my need to sleep a lot, and not recognizing my complexion, this baby really hasn't caused any real distress to my everyday life. Good job baby!! May you continue to be this easy!

Mom and Pops Stockings

2011-10-30T14:49:00.000-07:00

I recently made these absolutely adorable stockings (though I may be partial). Matthew likes them but wanted ownership of one. I'm not sure I had ownership of a stocking growing up, but apparently he did and still wants to be able to do. It was kind of weird adding these new titles to ourselves/stockings but I think they still look pretty dang cute.

And yes, Matthew chose his new title.

My awkward moment with Hilary Weeks

2011-10-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

I recently took a trip with 5 other women, some I knew well, others I didn't, to a weekend event in Rochester, NY called Time Out for Women. It's a predominantly (as in 99%) LDS event, though definitely not exclusively so. It was a lovely weekend, far better and more meaningful than I remotely anticipated, but that is not what I am writing about. I am writing about my awkward moment with Hilary Weeks.

Hilary Weeks is a singer, songwriter who writes about her faith and the ups and downs of motherhood. She's actually a very witty woman, and though I had never met her I felt an odd kinship with her. I'm guessing many people do. I bought a couple of her CD's and though I'm not of the star-struck variety, she was signing them so I thought I might as well stand in line and get mine signed too.

While standing there, this odd thought came to mind that I should have her sign it to my nickname Sariasis. I have no idea why Sara wouldn't have worked just as well, but at that moment in that location, Sariasis sounded infinitely more fun. My friend, supporting me in my line-waiting endeavor, thought I was strange but encouraged me nonetheless. My thought was that she would either find it entertaining and we would be new BFF's or she would find me very weird.

We are not BFF's. She asked me if I was serious, and when my friend confirmed that I was, she very politely and confusedly signed my nickname, asking me time and again just how she was supposed to spell it. She got it down, I expressed my enjoyment of her music, and just when I thought the awkward moment had ended, my friend asked to take a picture with her. Ever the pro, though I'm sure she was still a little worried about this seemingly off-kilter woman, she dutifully smiled in our little picture before moving on to a hopefully more sane admirer.

Lazy or Just Anti-Social?

2011-10-16T15:24:00.000-07:00

Just in case, everyone doesn't already know, Matt is here at Penn State getting his MBA (Master's in Business Administration). There are a few program-sponsored events, some of which we attend, throughout the year. But it has recently come to my attention that there are a whole host of other parties and activities that my fellow LDS MBA families attend that I know nothing about, and honestly, am okay not being a part of.

I wonder if one of the other MBA wives telling me about her active MBA social life, was afraid I'd feel bad for not knowing everyone else in the program and not feeling included. But really, honestly and truly, I don't care. Matt isn't the most outgoing guy so, while he knows and likes most of his classmates, he really isn't into the socializing scene. And he treats school very much like a job. He studies hard, puts in his hours, but at the end of the day, he comes home to his little wife and we have our other life. Truthfully, our other life doesn't consist of much other than dinner and vegging before bed, but its the way we like it.

Matthew has his life at school and I have my life working (on occassion), sewing (more than I should), sleeping (got to keep that growing babe healthy right?), and trying my hand at various domestic skills. I socialize mostly with other women from church and I teach seminary. I don't really feel my life is lacking in daily activities. So, while I know I'm missing out on all sorts of potential friendship, missionary, and other opportunities, am I lazy or just anti-social to not really care about this whole other realm of social possibilities?

One Womb, Two Embryos, One Baby

2011-10-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

In conjunction with my IVF, I had 13 eggs sucked from my enlarged ovaries at the beginning of September. Not a huge number by IVF standards, but definitely respectable. The next day I got a phone call that of those 13 embryos only 5 were mature. Of those 5, only 3 fertilized. Going from 13 to 5 was kind of a let down. I had anticipated at least 10 being viable for fertilization. And only having 3 fertilized didn't give me great odds of having any that would be available for transfer as embryos don't exactly have the highest mortality rate. But I felt confident then as I do now that the Lord is intimately engineering this whole process and that surely He wanted me to know that He was in charge. So, I laughed to myself, threw up my arms and tried my absolute best not to worry.

A couple of days later (Labor Day) Matt and I drove down to Rockville, MD for the last time to have two of them transferred into my eagerly awaiting womb. The last embryo, kept for observation and hopefully to freeze for later didn't survive the next few days and was eventually discarded. For the next couple of weeks I did my best to stay calm and patient while I awaited the news of the success or failure of our fertility attempt, but by the time the 20th of September rolled around I was beyond ready to know. The three hour wait between the blood test and the results were excruciating, but thankfully the news came back super positive.

The target HcG level for my blood test was between 100-200 and mine was 676. Not only good, but fabulous. Could the high level mean I was pregnant with twins? This made me nervous and hopeful and excited. Everyone I knew was hopeful for twins for me, and twins would definitely jumpstart my little family. I became sure that we would be having twins while Matthew continued to hope for one at a time. The next step was an ultrasound at 7 weeks to see how my little embryos were doing and find out just how many they were.

The morning of the appointment I prayed that whatever the outcome that Matt and I would feel at peace, thinking at the time that it would surely be Matthew who would need it most. We got in to see the Ultrasound Tech but instead of the two I felt certain of she only found one baby. My disappointment at only finding one lasted for only a moment. When she finally turned the monitor so I could see, I saw the tiny little heartbeat flickering on the screen and at that moment I felt complete peace. It was real. Despite feeling little or no pregnancy symptoms, I really had a little life growing inside me.

I felt a little shell shocked at its reality. Is this really happening? Did all the home pregnancy tests and the blood tests really not lie? Am I really pregnant and is that really a heartbeat I see on the screen? Somehow feeling sad there weren't two seemed completely ungrateful and inappropriate. The kind technician gave us some pictures of our Wee Babe carefully pointing out where it was in the picture and we left for lunch.

We made it to downtown State College and after the initial shock passed I wanted to announce to everyone who passed us on the street that I had a baby growing inside me!!! So there you have it. I am not having twins, but I do have A Bun in My Oven!

Guess What This is For?

2011-09-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

I am happy to announce that I have purchased this beautiful baby fabric for my own purposes!! Sometime in late May, probably when Matt and I are scurrying off to our new life, our baby will grace us with her(?) presence and we couldn't be more joyful, anxious, relieved and grateful. Matt's a little disappointed that the babe might impinge on his dream roadtrip, but what can you do? I guess that's what the last five years should have been about.

A couple of asides:

I'm sure this information is crazy premature, I mean I'm not even 6 weeks pregnant, but a friend of mine told me that since I had been so open about everything else in my life, now was not the time to be reserved.
No, I don't feel pregnant yet, no symptoms except the slightest twinge of quesiness from time to time.
We transferred two embryos back at the beginning of the month. Next week, Matt and I will find out if we can hear one heart beat or two! Talk about being anxious.

My New Favorite Project

2011-09-17T11:48:00.000-07:00

While I await the news of my recent rendezvous into fertility, here are a few pictures of my new favorite project. I made it for Mother Marler to say thanks ever so much for letting us crash at your house for the summer.

I love the colors, I love the pinwheels, and of course we all know how much I love the stars. I have to say though that the whole time I was working on it I was so scared that it was going to be a miserable failure. I mean look at all those points. It's by no means perfect, but I am currently one proud mother to this beautiful new quilt.

My Family Loves Me

2011-08-28T08:08:00.000-07:00

While it has been confirmed that my Heavenly Father loves me, I have also been blown over by the love and support of my wonderful family.

My oldest brother Phillip fixed our car for us this summer while we were in Hawaii, fixing the overhead lights and the AC!!! When asked if I can do something for him, he says, no problem, don't worry about it.
My oldest sister Nichole sent me flowers this May when I had my surgery. She also calls and checks up on me regularly.
My older sister Melissa has been the backbone of my support system for the last several years as we have worked together to get pregnant, her with her 6th child and me with my first. She calls me regularly, lets me cry and vent and express my concerns and frustrations ad nauseum.
My older brother Jared recently donated all his Marriott reward points to me for this next unanticipated week in Maryland.
My little brother Paul picked me up from the airport and, even after spending the entire summer separated from his adorable wife, he let me crash his alone time with her so I wouldn't have to spend all the time by myself.
My mother spent what couldn't have been a fun few days hanging out with me in my hotel room and tried her best to lift my spirits while I seemed to try my best not to let her.
My father willingly gave up with wife for me and didn't mind a bit when I ditched her to go home, saying he would gladly drive the hour and a half to go retrieve her.
My in-laws graciously let us stay for the summer and donated money to help us make this dream of IVF a reality.
My family prays for me, they call me and let me call them. They let me talk about IVF all I want but also let me hear about their lives so I can escape mine for a while.

I have wonderful friends who also love and support me and I am grateful for them; but this week I have been overwhelmed by the reminders that my family LOVES ME.

Tender Mercies in IVF

2011-08-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

The Lord loves me. I am filled to overflowing for the miracles and mercies I've experienced in these last few days.

As I have mentioned previously, I am in the midst of my first IVF cycle. I have been staying in a hotel in the D.C. area while Matthew starts his second and final year of Business School. At the beginning of the summer, I had a few fellow IVFers tell me how emotional this journey was going to be, but I felt ready and eager to take on the challenge. This week, I think I came to understand what they meant. My body was responding to the medication, but not as quickly as I had hoped, I couldn't seem to get any answers or words of encouragement from my DR or the countless other nurses I saw, and I desperately missed my husband. Even though my mother came up to stay with me for a few days, I still felt myself being pulled down into darkness. It didn't help that after spending a whole lot of money on this process, I had to fork out an additional $1,400 on even more medication because I was already starting to run low.

Friday morning, I went to my DR's appointment hopeful to actually see my DR and hear her thoughts on how my body was doing. She was a dream, encouraging me and even swearing at me to get her point across that while I was slow, my body was working *@!$ beautifully. She then asked if I had enough drugs to see me through to the middle of next week. I said I had recently purchased more but still wasn't sure it was going to be enough. She told me to sit tight and she would see what she could find (when women don't use all their drugs, they often donate them back to the clinic to be used by women like me who don't have insurance coverage). After she left I said a quick prayer pleading for a miracle. When my DR came back her arms were loaded with more than enough drugs to cover me. I wanted to cry.

She then gave me the best news of the whole week. She didn't need to see me on Saturday and with Huricane Irene threatening the Eastern Seaboard she said that should my hormone be at a reasonable level, she could hold off on seeing me again on Monday morning. That means almost three whole days free - plenty of time to drive the 3+ hours home to see my husband for the weekend!!!! I was awash in love and gratitude. My mother is wonderful and everything a mother should be during such a stressful time, but really, I just wanted my husband. I have never been so grateful for a hurricane in my life. So I packed up my stuff, bid my mother adieu and set off to spend a blissful weekend with the love of my life. I'll have to go back tomorrow morning super early to spend a few more days in D.C., but it was worth every second on the road and every dollar for gas to be HOME.

Earthquake

2011-08-23T17:24:00.000-07:00

I was in Washington D.C. when the earthquake rumbled through the East Coast on Tuesday. I have been in the D.C. area since Wednesday when I flew in from Hawaii. I'm in town, staying at a hotel in Maryland while I complete my IVF cycle. Monday I hung out mostly in my hotel room, sewing and working and watching endless amounts of TLC, so Tuesday I was ready to get out and see something. I went to my DR's appointment, took a nap, watched a little more TLC, and finally made it out of my hotel room around 1:00. I navigated my way through the subway system and onto the Mall to see the National History Museum. It was a beautiful day, warm but not too humid, the museum was not very crowded and I was excited to get lost in the history and culture of my fair country.

I got a map, and started in on the first exhibit when the earthquake struck. I don't recall ever experiencing an earthquake before, and for some reason I naively thought it was part of the exhibit - sort of like the earthquake houses they have at some children's museums, or maybe it's just OMSI. Either way, it was very surreal. I looked to my fellow museum goers and they looked equally confused and unsure of what to do next. Could I continue through the museum, would we be evacuated and then let back in? We started conversing about the next steps when the alarm lights and horns sounded making it very obvious that we were wanted outside NOW. So outside to the Mall we went, everyone pulling out their cell phones to check news and call friends.

I sat on a lovely bench soaking in the sun for a while, but when it became clear they weren't letting us back in that day, I braved the metro, which was mercifully still operating, and went home to my hotel room. The subway was only running at 15 mph making it a LONG trip home, but I met some very nice women on the way. So while my foray to the National History Museum was a total bust, my desire for adventure wasn't. I went and saw and experienced, met very nice people, and forgot about IVF for a few hours - totally successful day.

Ambition

2011-08-13T10:54:00.000-07:00

am-bish-uh'n
Noun
1. an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor, fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for its attainment.
2. the object, state, or result desired or sought after
3. desire for work or activity; energy

For some reason, this word has plagued me for the last while. As a teenager I wanted honor, fame and wealth and had all sorts of willingness to strive for its attainment. I decided early that I was going to be an accountant and quickly determined that I could not be a fulfilled woman without earning my Master's degree. Nor would I feel fulfilled without a successful and lucrative career as a CFO of a public company. These were my goals and if my parents didn't instill anything else, they for sure instilled goal setting as the key to attaining anything worthwhile.

So with my goals set, I enrolled in a university that excelled at Accounting, somehow graduated remotely well, though without a Master's degree (turns out I was wrong about feeling fulfilled without one), and landed a good job in Boston for the largest accounting firm - PwC. Everything seemed to be going well for a few years, until I realized that public accounting wasn't the dream job I had hoped for. I was not the first nor was I the last to come to this conclusion. After this I got a job for a public company, again part of the plan.

But then I married a student. This kind of started the derailment of my life's ambition. Because after that ring was on my finger, I didn't care anymore. That sounds awful and any self-respecting feminist would cringe and shake her fist, but after I married my life's ambition almost immediately shifted to supporting my husband through graduate school and to start a family.

Now five years later, that newest plan has yet to be realized, but even still, I find myself sort of at a loss for anything else. Motherhood, I am certain, will be great but shouldn't I be striving for other goals as well? Matt wants to write books, get a fabulous job, obtain more advanced degrees, open a small book store on the coast of Maine, and . . . When I think of what I want, my mind is a blank.

I know what I have no desire to do, I have no desire to climb Mount Everest, run a marathon, write a novel, be a CFO of a public company, travel the world, or start my own company. Is it okay if my life's ambition can be summed up by something published in 1905 in the Lincoln Sentinel:

"(S)He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has filled (her) niche and accomplished (her) task; who has left the world better than (she) found it, whether by an
improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best (she) had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction."

Perfection

2011-08-10T10:43:00.000-07:00

Perfection for me was spending the weekend with my husband celebrating 5 years of wedded bliss in Waikiki. Perfection was wandering around the crowded city streets, commenting on how many ABC stores were in a five block radius from our hotel (I think we logged at least 8). Perfection was watching the perfect sunset on the beach while eating frozen yogurt. Or it was waking up to a glorious morning dreaming of all the possibilities for the day, but not really having a plan. Perfection was hiking up Diamond Head without lots of joint pain and getting my not so glamorous picture taken with beautiful HI in the background. Or maybe it was taking a self portrait of my husband and me (we don't take lots of photos - sorry). Perfection was doing whatever we wanted with our weekend so long as we were together.

I am ecstatic to announce that after 5 years I still like my husband and he still likes me. We might even like like each other. Oooh. . . . He is still the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am grateful to call him mine for all of eternity. Happy Anniversary Babes!!

Ingratitude is Ugly

2011-07-31T20:00:00.000-07:00

Today I was struck by the ingratitude growing in my heart. I earnestly try to be a positive person and look for the good, but I have definitely not been as kind in my heart to certain persons as I could and should be. It made me think about how important gratitude is; how noble a virtue it is, and how truly unattractive ingratitude is. And who wants to be unattractive? So since its been a long time since I've publicly declared my blessings, here they are in no particular order.

I get to be in Hawaii for the summer, living rent-free, preparing very few meals, and getting to know my very kind in-laws. It's been an interesting summer, and in no way completely ideal, but when all is said and done, I am an extremely lucky chicky.

The beautiful Laie LDS temple is an easy and pretty 1 mile walk. The Spirit that pervades every trip has boosted me in more ways I can mention; and when I leave for home I am treated to my favorite ocean view at just the perfect time in the morning.

I have been absolutely blessed with work this summer. I might not have tons of time to spend at the beach but every hour I work brings me closer to my dream of easily paying for children and maybe having some fun too.

My husband is the best example of long-suffering patience. He is charity personified and I am grateful that despite my tantrums he still finds something to love about me.

When we first started out this summer, we were unclear what the Lord was thinking when he gave Matt his internship. He had absolutely nothing to do (he read SEC regs just to pass the time) and we wondered how this job was going to help him in his goals for future gainful employment. But as the summer has progressed (he only has one week left), it is now abundantly evident that this was THE perfect internship for him, if for no other reason than he has finally decided what he wants to do with himself - turns out it's banking.

Perfect summer temps. My family in Oregon has been hit with an extremely mild summer while my family in Virginia struggles with the opposite problem. Here in Hawaii, it is 75 - 80 degrees every day.

My great new pair of jeans I recently purchased that were 40% off, are the most comfortable pair I have ever worn and still manage to look ultra cool.

IVF tender mercies. As we start down the path towards IVF (in vitro fertilization) we have been blessed with caring nurses and doctors, discounted rates, donated drugs that cut the $4,000 drug sticker price in half, reasonably good initial testing and beyond perfect timing. While we have no guarantee this will work, at least it has been made as easy as possible. And in the meantime I am completely at peace with the choices we have made and I feel confident that whatever happens will be closely followed and engineered by a loving Heavenly Father.

Thanks for indulging me. LOVE.

Ode to Motherhood

2011-07-24T11:46:00.000-07:00

My darling sister, Melissa, won Oregon's Young Mother of the Year for 2011. Now while she claims she only won because no one else entered, she is a wonderful mother, maybe even a perfect mother!! She has 5 wonderful children (with one - hopefully a girl - on the way). And while she might have started with good raw material, she has worked very hard to make them great (though picky eaters - sometimes even the best mothers can't have completely perfect children). She has excelled at making a comfortable home for seven on her husband's teacher salary. I am so eternally grateful to know her and claim her as my sister for all eternity.

Here she is in the Sherwood parade, driven by my father who is completely enjoying himself. Her children and her husband also participated by carrying the American Mothers banner and walking/dancing down the parade route.

This is how Melissa finds joy in being a mother.

Giggling reverberating around the home, warm sweet hugs and kisses goodbye, enjoyable discussions around the dinner table are the things that make family life so rewarding.

Many find marriage and children a great deal of work. Families are a large amount of work but they also bring the greatest love, happiness and fulfillment. I find joy in the laughter of my children at play, especially with one another. Happiness and peace envelope me as I stop and observe my children read a book to their younger sibling, working together, and playing together. Rocking a baby to sleep or hearing the precious voices of children as they sing me songs before bed are also treasured moments. These simple yet sacred encounters make motherhood so sweet.

I love the security, warmth, and love I feel from my children and my husband. I love their friendship and companionship especially that of a loving and caring husband. Working together to create a loving home environment and helping with family members concerns creates unity and brings purpose that fortifies me in my life. Seeing faces that light up when they see you and feeling their love makes motherhood so treasured.

Watching them grow and sharing in their excitement at their new accomplishments also makes motherhood so fulfilling. It is wonderful to share in the excitement as a child learns to clap, walk, read and ride a bike. It is amazing to watch their confidence grow as they learn an instrument or score a goal. It is so marvelous to share in their joys as they discover for themselves that God really does answer prayers.

So while my home can be a little noisy and crazy. I know that there is no greater work and no place I would rather be than at home mothering my children.

I've Been Hacked

2011-07-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

If you have ever received an email from me, or if we have ever been good acquaintances, chances are you have received a spurious email from me this morning. If you haven't and you feel a little jipped, I supremely apologize. If you did receive a spurious email from me and you didn't receive an apology email from me, I also supremely apologize. I did my best. I spent about two hours this morning trying to make amends for my rogue email account. I tried to get everyone, but you never know.
And now, I'm left feeling kind of violated. Who hacked me and how did they find out my super secret password? Do they feel good about what they've done? How do they sleep at night?
I've had this email account since 1997 and I've grown very fond of it. People who have known me for years but haven't talked to me for a while always know if they want to they can find me there. I've had well over 10 home addresses over that time period, a couple of names, multiple phone numbers, and a few jobs, but my email account is one of the only constants in my life. I realize that sounds utterly ridiculous, but it's true. Change everything else about me, but don't change my email address. That could cause some serious issues in my life. So I really hope this is a one time occurrence. If it isn't, please let me know and I will find alternative means of electronically communicating with the world.

I killed a cockroach

2011-07-14T11:28:00.000-07:00

Much like most women, I don't like bugs. I don't like to see them, I don't like to kill them. This is one reason why I got married, so I would no longer have to kill my own. Thankfully for me, Matt indulges me enough not to harass me about this little idiosyncrasy of mine.

Hawaii bugs are a whole different story though. Especially the cockroaches. There must be something in the water because these bad boys are at least two inches long and they fly. FLY!! Ugh, just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. And it doesn't seem to matter how clean your house is, if you live in Hawaii, you are going to get a cockroach from time to time.

A few weeks ago, I saw a cockroach in my bathroom. Matt wasn't around but thankfully his brother was and graciously dispatched the thing while I cowered in another room. This morning, I found another one. Matt had already left for work and no one else was either up or otherwise around so the task was left to me. After a moment of indecision I picked up one of Matt's shoes and went after it determined to be an adult.

I had to chase it a little bit, but unluckily and luckily enough for me it was too big to just skitter under some box so it was trapped and we both knew it. I landed what I hoped would be a killing blow, saw gore spurt from its body and ran from the scene utterly grossed out. I thought I was brave enough for the deed, but maybe not. I went to get breakfast hoping someone else would come along to clean up my mess. After about a minute, I gathered some more courage and with a large paper towel went to finish the job.

I looked in on him only to find him twitching and squirming still alive but definitely mortally wounded. I hadn't counted on this and once again I lost my nerve. I went back to my cereal but, as utterly and seriously grossed out as I was, I couldn't stop thinking about him suffering because I was too sissy to do the job properly. So back in I went to hopefully finish him off. He was there still moving his crazy long antennae and even after I landed a few more blows with Matt's shoe, he continued to wiggle even if only weakly. This sucker was not dying anytime soon.

That did it, it was just too much. If this guy was going to leave this world it wasn't going to be at my hands. I was just about to start making enough noise to wake someone else up when, mercifully, Matt's mom came home to clean him up. I guess in the ensuing moments he had finally made the decision to die, so I did at least put him out of his misery, but I still felt bad to make my MIL finish what I couldn't. So along with a whole host of other neuroses, Hi, I'm Sara and I'm a sissy.

Pictures

2011-07-10T23:40:00.000-07:00

These pictures are probably not what people were hoping for, but hey, you get what you get and you don't throw a fit. I'll try to be better.

Fun thing about Hawaii is the beautiful and oh so fragrant flowers to be found everywhere. I love the smells of the island.

Another fun thing about Hawaii is the great hair you get after being in the ocean. Mine was pretty sweet too, especially since I have recently chopped it, but Matt's was pretty sweet too.

And finally you get my sweet as heck burn on my back, complete with the crystal clear tan line from my bathing suit straps. Can you tell that this part of my body doesn't see the sun very often? I am actually tanning up fairly nicely for my standards, but my back is one of the last acceptable places to see any daylight. Thankfully it doesn't hurt, it just looks pretty bad.

I rejoice in my children

2011-07-03T16:50:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine recently asked a few women she knows to write about how they rejoice in their children. In a moment of something, inspiration maybe, she included me on her list. An odd request for a woman without children, but an assignment I was interested in fulfilling. If anything I was curious to see what would come out of my head. So this morning I sat down and briefly wrote out how I rejoice in my children. I apologize to my friend (should she read this) that it is going up on my own blog before she gets a chance to post it on hers. Hopefully she forgives me. Thankfully, I don't think we have the same readers. So, for the sake of my family and other miscellaneous people, here is how I rejoice in children.

The Lord has a sense of humor. Of this I am most positive. For most of my teenage years and into my early twenties I was determined I did not want children. I would hate them and they would surely hate me. I just knew it. But, as in most things in life, age matured me enough to see the folly of my youthful ideas. Maybe I did want children after all. So when I got married at the ripe old age of 26, I thought because I waited "so long" to get married, and because I came from very fertile stock, children would come as easily for me as they did for my parents and siblings.

Now 4+ years in, I still wait on the Lord and His timing, all the while rejoicing in my promised children. As such I go to appointment after appointment, subjecting my body, my time, and my money to countless exams, blood work, and hospital gowns. I cry, desperately hoping they know of the love I already feel for them. I name them and hope and plan and pray for the day when I can know the awesome power and deep humility that comes with bringing Heavenly Father's most cherished creation into the world.

And I rejoice for others. I rejoice when I hear of someone I love being pregnant. I rejoice in my 4 nieces and 15 nephews (with one on the way). I rejoice in the older children I teach in Seminary and the younger children I teach in Primary. I rejoice in their potential, in their uniqueness, and in the light of Christ bursting from their young but my no means small personalities. Children truly are an heritage of the Lord, and I can rejoice in them whether they were given to me or to someone else.

Sara in Hawaii

2011-06-19T11:00:00.000-07:00

I am in Hawaii. This is the beach most readily accessible to my in-laws. It's so full of driftwood that it's not really good for anything other than a nice stroll. The better beaches are in the other direction and are still walkable, it just take 10 minutes to get to them instead of 5. And no I'm not bragging or anything.

So how am I doing? I realize that I will get absolutely zero sympathy for any complaining I might want to do, so I will dispense with the unpleasantness and simply say that the first few days took a little getting used to. Fortunately for the summer, Matt's siblings and I now get along swimmingly, I've learned to accept the fickleness of the weather and being slightly sticky all the time, and I'm coming up with a nice little schedule for my week. All in all, I expect this to be a fabulous summer. Which brings me to the point of this post.

We are in Hawaii. Us. Sara and Matt. It struck me a couple of days ago how absurd this notion is. There are two other LDS families going through the Penn State MBA program with us. One family is in Houston for the summer (certainly the worst time, in my mind, to be in Houston) before she gets to leave with their small daughter and move apartments in State College all by herself. The other is separated for the summer, he working in a lame town in Maryland while she and the kids spend half of it alone, sans car, in State College, and the other half in Utah. Neither sounds even the slightest bit fun and here we are in Hawaii.

Friday I rode the bus into downtown Honolulu to meet up with Matthew for date night. And as I was riding what ended up being a two hour trip, I just couldn't help marveling at the wonder of it. I have been to the temple three times already in the week and a half since I've been here. I woke up at 6 am and decided to make it to the temple by 7 am. And even with walking I was still there by 6:40 easily. I work my standard issue hours so as to not make me feel like a complete lazybones, but the rest of my day is spent baking fun things, laying by the pool, taking walks and talking to friends. I realize this whole post sounds very boastful, but I just can't help swimming in the immense good fortune of my summer. Please don't be a hater.

P.S. I'll try to take more pictures.

Officially Infertile

2011-05-26T11:52:00.001-07:00

As always I apologize for what some might consider over sharing. Please forgive me. Please also don't ask what provokes me to share some of the most intimate details of my life for the entire world (who reads English).

At my Doctor's appointment the other day, I got the news. I am officially, most likely not able to conceive children without the aid of modern science. It was an interesting experience. I was caught off guard, and obviously devastated, but mercifully (for everyone involved) calm and rational as I listened to my doctor and then his nurse run through my various options of what to do next. I collected all sorts of information, went home, and told a very compassionate husband the news. IVF aka invitro fertilization aka super expensive, non-insurance covered procedure, is most likely our best shot at starting a family of our very own. For years, we have said "No, we hate you, IVF. You are too expensive." But somehow, hearing the official news, makes parting with the money a touch easier. Because when all is said and done, which do we want more, a house or a family; a new car (one with working AC and trunk) or a family; a cruise next summer or a family? As much as I would love that cruise a family is just more important. So we will suck it up, pull out our long-term savings and say, "you better be grateful you expensive baby you."

Miracles Happen

2011-05-15T11:48:00.001-07:00

With a sigh of relief and a shout for joy I would like to announce that Matt has an internship!!! Wahoo and praises be to Heaven. And where is that internship? Much to the chagrin of our ward here in State College, we will be leaving for the summer and heading to Hawaii. Matt got an internship with First Hawaiian Bank and will be working there starting in just two weeks. Matt's family still lives in Hawaii, and even though several of his siblings have graduated from college, somehow everyone will be there for one last summer before everyone heads in different adult-like directions. I will fortunately be able to take my job with me which will give me something to do with my day other than lounge on the beach. But even more fortunately, it continues part-time, which will give me something to do with my day other than sit in my room all day in front of my computer. Wonderful things all around. In addition, the LDS temple will be a fifteen minute walk instead of a 3.5 hour drive so I will hopefully avail myself of its blessings on a weekly, if not a semi-weekly basis. Again, wahoo!!

By the way, the procedures I went in for this week went as well as one could possibly hope. Very routine. That's the way I like it. So, while my tummy continues to swell beyond normal proportions and I try not to sneeze, cough, or laugh too riotously, I am doing very well and healing quite nicely. Thanks to everyone, especially my beloved family, who more than did their part in praying for my well being. Good job guys!!

Two Ports Open for In-Coming Ships

2011-05-08T15:23:00.000-07:00

I am excited, nervous, impatient, hopeful, and curious to see how this week goes. Two major things are going on in our lives.

1. Matthew might actually get an internship this week!!! When Matt was in law school, clerkships were difficult to come by. Matt worked one summer for his attorney grandfather and worked one summer for the company where I was then working. When he was done with law school, he thankfully had a job, but it was by no means a dream job or even a long-term job. It was basically the only thing available after many months of searching. So when Matt started his MBA, he was determined that this experience would be different. He threw himself into doing anything he could to get a good internship that would hopefully lead to a great job. After so many months of searching and working and praying, it was getting kind of frustrating, as noted in my earlier post. But this past week, the windows of heaven opened and he began getting offers. Maybe not offers from big-named "glamorous" companies, but exciting offers that don't leave Matt feeling stuck or desperate. We still don't have many details and he is still waiting on one more company to make up their mind, but the Lord has been very good to us and we are extremely grateful and humbled to see His hand in our lives.

2. Again, like I said in my earlier post, this week I will have surgery that will hopefully help me both with painful menstrual cycles as well as with getting my innards cleaned out and ready for babies. A year ago I felt impressed that there were indeed children meant for our family and that they were ready to come. A little while after that initial impression I was diagnosed with fairly significant hypothyroidism. Hypothyroidism doesn't always result in infertility, but with the extremely low levels of thyroid my body was producing, multiple doctors have expressed their surprise that I wasn't in a coma, let alone able to conceive. So onto medication I went, hopeful that this might help me get my body ready for children. Many months went by and I had what I thought was a ovarian cyst rupture. I called and made a DR appointment to get it checked out and prayed that if something needed to happen to get my body ready that it would be obvious to the DR. Two DRs appointments later it was determined that I have multiple cysts on either ovaries and a fibroid wrapped in a polyp hanging out in my uterus. So with that I was signed up for surgery. Surely, I thought, this is an answer to my prayer. My body is being prepped and with faith and even more prayers, hopefully a ship will come into port for me as well as for my husband.

Wow, so much anticipation and excitement!

Speeding

2011-04-11T05:11:00.000-07:00

The older I get the slower I drive. When I lived in Boston I drove at reckless speeds because that's what everyone else drove. I was just keeping up with traffic. I actually thought I was doing traffic a favor by not clogging up the lanes. Now, that I am oh so wise at 31, however, I still speed but I check myself at about 5 over. I don't care that people are ten feet from my bumper or that there is a pile up behind me on our one lane roads out here. The speed limit is 35, that means I don't go 55, it means I go 40. In the past I have felt almost self righteous in my "safe speeding" mentality. I always figured God didn't care about such trivialities. Yes, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not commit adultery, check, check, and check. But what about some of the lesser laws. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I also "believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law" (12th article of faith). So does that mean that my breaking a law at 40 (even though I know I'm not going to be stopped by any cop) is the same as breaking the law at 55 (most cops should stop me at this point)? On my way home from seminary I had this awful dilemma. If I believe Christ suffered for my sins, is he suffering for my little speeding habits too? Do I unconsciously cause Him more pain every time I put my pedal to the metal? I'm in a very real moral quandary here so any thoughts would be greatly appreciated, whether you are a member of my faith or not. Thanks for your help.

We Believe in MIRACLES

2011-04-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

Just a heads up for those who may be curious. Matt still has no internship for the summer and has less than three weeks before the end of the year. What started out as a stressful thought in August has turned agonizing over the last month. It doesn't help that even jobs that seem perfectly tailored to Matthew still inexplicably say no. We don't get it. His career counselor doesn't get it. His classmates don't get it. We know the Lord has a plan for us, we are just hoping He lets us know what it is before too much longer. In addition, I am still sans child. We have officially made it to the 4 year mark of trying and failing at having children. A year ago, I had my extremely low thyroid diagnosed and addressed and in the past few months, due to some other issues, I have found that I have not only one problem that often leads to infertility but two more. All unrelated, but all having significant effects on my ability to conceive. In another month the other two will be looked into via minor surgery. I'm hoping that these are the last two issues to fix before babes start happening. As such, our new mantra in our home is "We Believe in MIRACLES". We know they happen every day, and we know that the Lord loves us, so with enough faith, maybe they will happen for us VERY SOON.

Newest Projects

2011-04-02T07:34:00.001-07:00

I've had a couple of projects mostly done for the longest time but not entirely finished. As such, I've finally gotten around to completing them. Like the flannel rag quilt pictured above.

Now this pictured quilt is a special story. My maternal grandmother, God rest her soul, had a goal to make a quilt for each of her MANY granddaughters when they got married. Well, I took my own sweet time getting there and she was getting older, so on a visit to my parent's house with my aunts she decided it was time, married or not to make my quilt. The group of women went to the fabric store to buy the material. My grandmother picked out some material my mother knew I would hate (I am sorry to say that I am indeed a picky sort) so my mother convinced her to let her buy the above fabric instead. At home, my aunts cut out the material and appliqued the flowers. I think their enthusiasm for the project waned at that point because that's as far as it got.

Months later my mother gave me the supplies and told me if I wanted my grandmother quilt I would need to finish it. I complained that it didn't seem fair somehow, that my grandmother quilt was purchased by my mother, cut out by my aunts and finished by me, but she was firm. If she finished it, she said, she was going to keep it. Keep MY grandmother quilt, for shame. So I took the fabric and put in a pile for years. At some point I finished the top and even put the layers together and pinned it, but there again it layed in a pile for another few years.

Finally a few days ago, I got around to quilting, tieing it and binding it. It's not my favorite quilt as we all know how I'm fairly partial to stars (see first pictured quilt and really any other quilt I've posted), but it is sweet and maybe one day my own daughter will take a fancy to it.

Two projects down, now I have just one more. We'll see how long it takes me to get around to that one.

An Amish Adventure for Hard White Wheat

2011-03-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

A few years ago Matt bought me a wheat grinder in addition to my Bosch for my birthday. Since then I have endeavored to make and master homemade bread with my own freshly ground wheat, which I am told has more protein and fiber than even week-old wheat flour. This sends me in search of wheat. I am surprised at just how hard it is to find wheat berries. In the past I've purchased it from the LDS church, or have had it given me from my mother, but in my current living conditions, neither of these options are very practical. I figured living in the middle of so many farms would make this easier but after calling around to the country stores I know of, only one had any idea of where I might procure it. She wasn't sure of the name but told me what town it was in. I tried finding it online, finding it in the yellow pages, but no luck. The town of Allensville has only two phone numbers that can be obtained through modern technology. I called one of them and asked a very kind woman if she knew the name and number of the store in question and, heavens be blessed, she did. I called and verified that my needs could be met for a decent price and, with my excitement about me, put off for my hour drive into the heart of Amish farmland, PA. Coming into Allensville, I passed a horse-drawn buggy, complete with it's slow moving sign. The parking lots of this super tiny town had two types of parking accommodations - painted lines for the cars and hitching posts for the horse buggies. One store I patronized had an Amish man and woman (full beard and bonnet) purchasing supplies. How very fun!! I didn't think to take my own picture (sorry NicHole) so the picture below will have to suffice. I made it to the sought-after store and procured 100 lbs of Hard White Wheat (my current favorite for making very tasty yet completely healthy bread). Hopefully this will last me for the time being. As I drove into State College I thought, hmmm back to civilization. But not with a sense of relief, rather with a sense of disappointment. I think it could be fun to live off the grid - no taxes, no bills, no commutes, no worry about finding and keeping a job. I realize I can't give up the life I lead, but it is nice to escape for a few hours from time to time. I also realized that when all said in done, it would have been much cheaper for me to work the two hours spent driving and pay the extra money to buy the wheat online, but I would have lost out on a very valuable adventure! A look into another life where one realizes that material possessions and wild earthly ambitions can be very silly indeed.

Mostly Dead Plant

2011-03-02T07:44:00.000-08:00

I do not have a green thumb my any means. I'm not a death threat to plants either, but I can get, shall we say, forgetful when it comes to watering on a regular basis. I am even worse about reminding my husband to water while I am away. Hence the picture above. This used to be a beautiful hydrangea Matt bought for me years ago. It had beautiful white blooms. But after one such vacation away, it almost died. It withered to practically nothing, but my mother told me to just cut it way down and it would miraculously come back. So I did, and it came back, but never to its original glory. Even still, I nursed it to a new kind of health and fawned over it when it did anything remotely amazing.

But then I left for CA and Matt didn't water it at all while I was away. It was probably fairly dry from my own neglect, so I don't fault Matt at all, but even still it was pretty dead when I came back. But as you can see, not completely. Do you see those little budding leaves? I wanted to just toss it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It has the willpower to live, can I really just throw it in the trash? I thought about planting it outside, where I wouldn't feel so responsible about it's livelihood, but the ground is still in permafrost mode and wouldn't be dug, at least not with my kitchen serving fork.

Oh, what to do.

I eventually ended in compromise. I needed the pot to give some other plants the much needed space. So I scaled some up and scaled this little struggling plant way down. I think I actually like it in the tiny pot. It doesn't look nearly as pathetic down there.

But I couldn't help but think that this whole scenario says something about me. Or is it human nature? Would you have been able to toss the struggling but mostly dead plant? I NEED to know.

Rich for Bish

2011-02-27T15:40:00.000-08:00

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints there is no campaigning for positions or callings. There are also no elections, voting, or payment. There are only good men and women, called of God, trying their best at whatever they've been asked to do. However, a friend of mine from college always thought that if there were campaigning, "Rich for Bish" would be very catchy. I agree.

But with that qualifier, I sent an email to a woman in my ward, who's calling is to be in charge of the Young Women, letting her know that should the Spirit direct her in such a way to call me to help her with the Laurels (16-18 year-old young women) I would shout for joy at the privilege. There are a few particular girls with whom I have absolutely fallen in love and I would so enjoy the chance of watching them, and in a small part helping them, discover the incredible women they are destined to become.

I realize that my efforts at campaigning just sealed my fate at not having that calling. I think the only calling in the church for which I have seen a successful campaign was to be the nursery (children ranging from 18 months to 3 years old) leader.

I was feeling kind of sorry for myself, will I really be able to wake up at 5:20 am for the next three months and all of next year? Is this really what God expects out of me? But as I was sitting in church today, I realized that I have come to LOVE my three quirky students, such that I wonder if anyone else could love them the way I do. They are such a joy to me. But what I really love is the personal growth I have seen in myself over the past 6 months. I don't think you can immerse yourself in the scriptures (enough to teach a 50 minute lesson every weekday) and not come out on the other side with a greater testimony of our Savior and His love for His children. What a huge blessing it has been to start every morning in such a way.

So after this kind of meandering post, I just have to say to my fellow Mormons, you might think you have the best calling the Church, but try being a seminary teacher and then come talk to me. Because then you'll know what I have only recently come to know - that teaching Seminary is the best calling in the Church!

Courtside Reunion 2011

2011-02-24T16:00:00.000-08:00

Don't you just love this picture? Eight women in all of their happy sweaty glory? I hope my dear college roommates don't hate me for posting this picture on a public blog. Can you believe that many women in one group look that good in spandex! I mean really! Three of the women pictured above recently had children. Can you tell who they are? I'm guessing probably not.

I recently had the rare privilege to spend a long weekend with these wonderful women talking, eating, getting our "butts" kicked at this intense whole body aerobics class, giggling, crying and reminiscing together. What a wonderful way to spend three+ days. The part I loved most about the trip was marveling at how amazing they all are and how lucky I am to be able to associate with such beautiful, happy, and genuinely good women. Rarely, do we have in our lives, so many positive relationships in one group. I cringe when I think about the pill I often was to my dear roommates. I was an emotional wreck half the time. Thankfully I've come SO FAR since then (wink wink). How nice of them to love me and forgive my post adolescent issues. Thank you my darling friends!

And thanks to my wonderful husband who spent 6 days sans car eating soup and bumming rides from friends so I could have this opportunity. Thank you my boy!

FYI - Body Suits are Back

2011-02-23T16:58:00.000-08:00

While in California visiting with my college roommates, we went into San Francisco to shop. We made it into H&M, which, while it might not be at the height of haute couture, it is definitely hipper than the shopping I don't do these days. How was I to know then that the 80's are already on the outs and the 90's are back. Case in point - see above picture. Do you remember body suits the first time they came in? I was never cool enough to have one though boy did I ever want one. It seemed like the perfect way to keep your shirt tucked in.

Now when I look at them, all I see is a big onesie. A ONESIE!! Do you see the snaps at the bottom? I couldn't stop laughing and when I saw them. I also couldn't believe that scrunchies can now be found at H&M as well. I was talking to a women about them at the airport and apparently there was a "Sex in the City" episode that said that scrunchies were only to be worn when sleeping or washing your face; they were not for wearing in public. I guess not. And apparently, according to Glamour.com, scrunchies have been in since mid 2009. Where have I been? Oh, that's right, in Wenatchee, Washington. Maybe, you've all had your "bodysuits and scrunchies are on their way back in?" moment, but thanks to H&M I finally had mine.

Mad Dash

2011-02-17T07:14:00.000-08:00

To fly to CA for my college roommate reunion, I first had to drive to Philadelphia. Just no real viable options for air travel when you live in the middle of nowhere. But instead of leaving at 3:00 am, I thought it best to stay somewhere the night before and then take the hotel's shuttle to the airport in the morning. I make it to Phillie no problem, arrange for a 6:30 am shuttle for my 8:15 am flight and go to bed. The next morning I am up and at em at 5:30 am, and out to meet my shuttle by about 6:25ish. I wait outside for a few minutes, no shuttle. I ask inside, and am told my shuttle picked up someone from their sister hotel just then and will be back to get me in less than 15 minutes. Why they couldn't pick me up on their way to the airport I will never know, but they don't and I wait. Fifteen minutes go by, then twenty. I ask inside again, and am told the shuttle should be there any minute, but he would call just to make sure. By this time, there is someone else waiting outside for a 7:00 am shuttle for her 8:00 am flight. I'm am a little irritated, but mostly calm, even a little impressed by my cool approach to the experience. But surely, the shuttle will be there for my new friend's appointment. Being an hour early for my flight wis still in the realm of the acceptable. By 7:10 though we are both getting anxious. Where is this dumb shuttle? The guy working the desk eventually found out that the shuttle guy had gotten into an accident at the airport and was caught without any identification. I'm guessing it ended up being quite the to do and that is why he didn't call to let anyone know. Without shuttle service, the hotel arranges for a taxi for us, but after another 15 minutes, the taxi service still can't find someone available to come get us. At this point, it is 7:30 am. My shuttle friend has missed the window of opportunity of getting onto her flight, and I am quickly losing my own. The airport is a mile or two away, I should have walked. But I remain calm and even joke about the silliness of the situation. So impressive. Really, I am so proud of myself. Finally, another hotel's shuttle comes to get us. I am the first stop and calmly but quickly, at 7:40 am, make it to the counter where there is NO ONE in line. Hallelujah, my first break of the morning. I am so doped up on adrenaline, I have to tell someone my story, but the woman at the counter is too busy beating the deadline for checking me in, that I am left to tell anyone else around who will listen. Next step, security. Again, NO ONE in line. The Lord surely loves me, I think. I have to submit to a search, because my cups of peaches I bought as a snack for the airport do not meet airport security guidelines. They are comfiscated and I again calmly but quickly started making my way to the gate where surely the plane is already starting to board. I follow signs to what I think is my terminal, but after I step onto the moving walkway, I realize I may not be going in the right direction. Some security guards confirm my suspiscion, and I turn around and run in the opposite direction. It's amazing how much harder than expected it is to make headway going the wrong way on a moving walkway. I'm sure I looked absolutely rediculous to any passersby. I retrace my steps, finally make it to my gate, which is indeed boarding, and with time to spare, make one last bathroom stop before getting onto what will evenutally be a pleasant, even friendly, but ultimately uneventful flight. So the moral of my story, if you have to stay overnight in Philadelphia before catching an early flight, don't stay at the Extended Stay Deluxe. Spend the extra money and stay across the street at the Courtyard Marriott. They have shuttles that leave every 10 minutes.

Power in Labels

2011-02-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

NOTE - This post may get a bit personal. I apologize in advance for any offence I may unwittingly give.

Anyone who has seen me in the last 31 years knows I am not a large person. I'm not scrawny by any means but no one would ever call me pudgy. I have definitely been blessed with my father's Booren genes. But in April of this past year, in conjunction with a whole host of other symptoms triggered by my fall into Hypothyroidism, I gained 15 pounds in about a month. This was a big deal for me. Not that I honestly looked tons different to the outside observer, I'm sure no one would have noticed if I didn't bring it to their attention. But somehow just knowing that I was 15 pounds larger than I had ever been up to that point in my life made me look at myself differently. Now fast forward to this morning when I again got on the scale and realized I was back to my pre-thyroid diagnosis weight. Despite an abysmally unhealthy December, January has been quite the opposite. I've felt sick more or less the entire month which means eating healthy (because its really the only thing that sounds remotely good), and I've actually used my fabulous Christmas present (a bike trainer that turns my pretty but dusty road bike into a useful stationary bike) remotely regularly.
So when I looked at myself in the mirror this morning (eek, naked), I saw a Sara. But then I took another look at myself post-scale and all of a sudden I saw a thin sexy Sara. Somehow in those few moments surrounding that scale, I saw myself in a whole new light. Just like I did post scale last April.
This seems to happen in other areas in my life too. Someone will say I am funny, and in a moment, I think, I am so funny, I am probably the funniest person they have ever met. Or I will watch a movie and think to myself, this fictional character has it all together. I am not leading such a fun life, ergo I am a complete failure. Too extreme?
So I am thinking that this may not be a healthy way to live life ie. based on the labels scales, society, and unhealthy comparisons to others give me. But I am hoping that somehow getting it out in the open, out in front of me will help me see this fun neurosis of mine in a truer light and I will be more capable at finding my way to the true me. No comparisons, no puffed up pride, no labels. Just Sara. And that is okay.

Sick, Blegh

2011-01-28T18:27:00.001-08:00

I remember a day, before I started my own meandering tribute to minutia, when I would jealously read my friends' blogs and dream about the wonderful life they ALL seemed to be living. I too wanted to be endlessly going to apple orchards or pumpkin orchards or strawberry patches with my children and taking crazy cute pictures of them on hayrides. I wanted to be going on the fabulous vacations they were indefinitely taking. But to make matters worse, I just knew, for the long stretches they weren't posting anything, it just meant they were too busy giggling all day to write down their comings and goings. Oh, those happy families with their adorable children, giggling and hayriding all day.

But now, while I don't know the details behind their seemingly endless joy, I know that, for me, my sometimes absence just means I have NOTHING going on. Since coming home from the Christmas holidays, all I can say about my life is that I seem to have spent the last month chained to my home office desk with a cold that doesn't seem to abate. I'm not really complaining, except that I really hate this DUMB cold; but for anyone who maybe thinking, "Oh that Sara, she leads such a glamorous life," just know that I don't. I'm not doing anything super cool except for providing for my family and using up an abhorrent amount of tissue - 2 full rolls of toilet paper so far - isn't that absolutely grotesque?

Suckahs and Lollipops

2011-01-02T09:38:00.000-08:00

I was with my sister and nephews the other night in the car trying to make conversation with a 5 and 8-year old. My nephew Eddie (the former of the two boys) recently started kindergarten and while he's not a trouble maker, he's definitely not in love with the institution. He's lucky though. The majority of his class stays for all-day kindergarten, but because of his lack of enthusiasm and the fact that you have to pay for the second half of the day, Eddie gets to go home after lunch. I asked him if he said, "See ya suckahs" to his classmates before leaving, to which my sister hit my leg and told me not to teach them such things. Eddie said "no" and then he and his brother proceeded to think of other things he could tell his classmates on the way out the door. My favorite being, "See ya lollipops!" I'm so grateful for the innocence of these young boys (not that suckahs is really all that bad) and that to them suckahs are still linked with lollipops and other sweet treats.

Hair Flowers

2010-12-19T10:40:00.000-08:00

I think I might be a little late to the hair flower fad, but that's not kept me from jumping in head first. Case in point (see above picture).

To say thank you for tieing my friend's quilt she had me pick out some flowers so she could make them into hair accessories. I enthusiastically picked out the above flower realizing, at the time, that it is very large; but somehow now, seeing it on my head, it makes me laugh at my own exuberance. Do you notice how it takes up half my head in all of its fiery glory? I defy anyone to have a bigger hair flower in their collection. Now I can compete with the other girl babies at my parent's church who make sure everyone in a hundred yard radius know they are of the feminine persuasion.

Here you go Kevin

2010-12-15T13:13:00.000-08:00

To Kevin, and everyone he sends this post to - you are going to love this quilt!! I wasn't lying about the whole, starting your own blog just to rave about it, thing. And to answer your questions, yes I LOVE it, and yes, I am glad it is done. I think I might have a couple calluses from some of the needlework I did on it. Here are some more pictures I took during the construction process.

This picture was taken during the quilting stage. Do you see all that material I got to PUSH through my sewing machine? I think I might have gotten some serious muscles from this exercise alone. If you look closely at the picture you'll notice the basting I did from my last post. This basting helped keep everything together as I quilted it.

Okay, this picture is of the trimming process. I don't know what else to say about that.

I really love the row of patches you had for the back. I tried to get them straight, but you'll notice it didn't quite happen as I planned. Don't worry, it still looks fantastic.

Here is the finished project complete with edging. Are you starting to get excited about putting it on your bed and having all your friends come in to admire it? That is one great quilt!!

And of course, the piece de resistance (at least for me) is the star on the back. A quilt isn't complete without one. It's small, and in the bottom corner, if you hate it you can pretend it isn't there. But really, who would want to ignore that cutie.

Wow, I'm starting to feel a little heady. Feel free to knock me down a peg if you'd like. If not, I won't think the less of you for it.

Hey Kevin

2010-12-02T17:46:00.000-08:00

Did I tell you that I finally got around to working on your quilt? I put it on a quilt frame so I could make sure all the layers are nice an tight. No one wants a lumpy quilt. Did I tell you the frame takes up the entire room. I basically have to crawl around underneath to get to the different sides. It's a good thing I don't have bending problems.

Did I tell you you are going to be so happy with this quilt when it's done? I am so excited for you to get it back so you can start your own blog to rave over how beautiful it is.

Did I tell you I'm trying out this new technique of basting the quilt instead of pinning it. I think the finished product will be nicer this way. Do you like the tape? It's supposed to say "Top."

So that's where I'm at so far. Tomorrow will have more progress.

For those of my four readers who just may be wondering who this Kevin character is - Kevin is a co-worker of mine from my PwC Boston days and perhaps the only co-worker I've ever really kept in any sort of contact with. I've gone to Toronto, Puerto Rico and Florida with this guy. He badgered me into getting highlights, took me to a Tori Amos concert, and walked around Old San Juan rotating his arms so he could get a good tan on both sides. I love this kid. He also happens to be my most loyal reader. So when he asked me to refinish his quilt and then blog about it, I of course said I would. So Kevin, not remotely a threat to my husband, here is a blog post about the progress on your quilt!! Are you smiling?

New Quilting Idea

2010-11-29T05:16:00.001-08:00

While I have other projects that need to be completed, I was reminded last night of a quilt website that I absolutely adore - Thimbleblosoms.com.

I've longed to do one of her quilts, but of course, don't have the money to spend on cute fabric for a quilt I really don't need. So here's the challenge, someone out there who has money but no time, peruses this fabulous woman's website, chooses a quilt (I have to okay, because let's face it, my skills have limits at this point in my quilting "career"), and commissions me to make it for him/her. I'm not looking to get paid, just reimbursed for the material.

Any takers?

Random Picture of Sara Stars

2010-11-28T11:05:00.001-08:00

Do you know me? Even remotely? If you do, you will not be surprised that I have star snowflakes to help decorate for the Christmas season. If you look even closer you will notice that on the left side of the picture I cut out even more stars to attach to my shelf that also sports a star. Catching on? I'm wondering if there is a world record for how many stars decorate one house.

I Hate UPS

2010-11-27T05:44:00.000-08:00

Did you get that? I HATE UPS. Twice in one year, which is really a lot when you consider how many packages I don't get, have they thwarted my shipping needs because of their really DUMB shipping policy. The first time they wouldn't change the address of my package, despite it accidentally being an old address, until it had been rejected by the person currently living there. It is, what they term, a failed delivery attempt. The second time, they wouldn't change the method of receipt until, again, after a failed delivery attempt. The package is in State College, a full three days before schedule delivery, and I need it by a specific time on Monday, but I can't opt to go and pick it up. Nope, it has to have a failed delivery attempt first. So aggravating, made even more so by the awful "customer service" people who don't help, they can only calmly but firmly restate and then restate some more of their policies. No there's no one else I can talk to, and no the shipper of the package can't change it either. That is their policy and that is their policy.

I tried writing a strongly worded 500-character email, but the response was simply to restate their policy. Yeah, I know the policy. So I am left with all of this pent-up anger and impotent rage. I feel like the evil villain, Goob, in "Meet the Robinsons," standing outside Robinson Industries with a roll of toilet paper and a carton of eggs yelling "Robinson, you stink!"

So of course, I turn to the one public medium I do have, my blog to help me vent my raging frustration. Not that UPS will ever check, nor will they ever change their stupid policy, but at least I feel better having gotten it all out.

And yes, I wrote an entire blog just so I could get in the "Meet the Robinsons" reference. Still love me?

Thanksgiving For Two

2010-11-25T05:29:00.000-08:00

I grew up in a large family. And while we never grew up or really even knew our extended family, it didn't stop us from having a lot of people over to help celebrate Thanksgiving. We were the family that took in the strays from church and my dad's Marine squadron. Anyone who didn't have anywhere else to go came to our house. And they always left with a pie. My mother cooked for days, making 20-30 pies so everyone got one and us kids still had enough to eat for breakfast for the next week. That to me is the true Thanksgiving tradition - having pie for breakfast the morning after.

This year, Matt and I decided to stay in town. We figured, surely someone will invite us over for Thanksgiving. We've always had the offer before, despite always having other plans, why should State College be any exception? But with Thanksgiving eking closer and no one coming forward, I finally faced reality. It was just going to be the two of us. So Matthew and I looked at our options. Matthew didn't care. As far as he was concerned we could start a new tradition and make Indian curry for our Thanksgiving feast. As tempting as that sounded, I thought to myself, "Self, you are a full-fledged 31 year-old. You are quite old enough and competent enough to woman-up and make a Thanksgiving dinner all by your onesies."

So I bought a Turkey breast, because do two people really need a full Turkey, stuffing, the Booren's Green Jello fixings, as well as other Thanksgiving grocery needs. And when the day came, we had a successful little Thanksgiving for two, complete with pie for breakfast.

OPP - Other People's Projects

2010-11-22T05:20:00.000-08:00

So remember how I wrote a post about needing projects to do? Well I am happy to report that several people have taken me up on my offer. Two women from church have asked me to finish their quilts and an old co-worker, quite possibly my most faithful follower, sent me a quilt of his to redo. I opted to start with the blanket above. I tied it and bound it. Not remotely difficult, and not remotely professionally done but I thought it turned out quite cute indeed. Hopefully the recipient likes it as well. She hasn't seen it yet.

I have to say, it's been kind of fun working on someelse's projects. And it is keeping me out of trouble, which we all know is best for humankind at large.

This is what a 31 year-old looks like

2010-11-10T10:59:00.000-08:00

Just in case you were wondering.
Side note - as I look back at other pictures of me, I realize I wear this blue sweater a lot.

Second side note - I took this picture on 11/28, but figured I should post it remotely closer to my birthday. It's still early for Christmas decos but not nearly as early as if I had actually taken this picture on my birthday.

Latest Creation

2010-11-07T12:56:00.001-08:00

I was telling someone the other day that I love to sew (not clothes mind you - don't ask). I am also independent enough to want to make my own designs, but not quite creative or experienced enough to do anything super fancy. And since, I was limited to the material I already own, voila, you get the following quilt. I was pretty pleased with how well my points turned out.

Need Work, Will Travel

2010-11-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

The last several weeks have been abysmal as far as the hours I've gotten from my current position. Today, I was told that this will pretty much be the status quo for the next two months until busy season starts again.

So here's my dilemma:

I need something to occupy my time for the next two months;
I like not working nights and weekends;
I can't go and buy supplies to do a project here at home (because no work, means little money);
My search on Craig's list netted some accounts payable/admin job for which I applied but don't really expect to receive an answer on
My search on Monster netted a UPS driver's helper job,which sounded like a big adventure, and would be otherwise perfect, but the words must be able to lift 70 lb packages and work in cold climates was just too intimidating for my small frame.

So while I am keeping my eyes and ears open for gainful employment I am in search for other opportunities. I should find someplace to volunteer, and maybe I will, but the other option my sister and I thought of was to someone else's projects. So, if you have all sorts of material, and no time to sew, send it along, I'll do it. Really any project that is outsourceable, and mailable - send it along - I'm game, at least for the next two months.

Any takers? I'm actually really curious to see if anyone is serious enough and trusting enough to send me anything. The game is officially on.

An Apartment Flooded

2010-10-03T07:18:00.001-07:00

Our apartment flooded this week. It happened Friday - a particularly rainy day. I had been sitting at my desk, sleeping really, when I woke up, got up from my computer and noticed that my feet were leaving footprints in the carpet. When my brain cleared, it dawned on me that the footprints in the carpet meant my carpet was very much wet. I looked up and noticed a very dry ceiling. Well, I guess that means the water was coming up from below, and getting worse. I called the rental office to have them send maintenance down to help me out, I called Matthew to let him know, and then I called my mother and my friend Rachel, just because it seemed so very surreal. My apartment was flooding.
I went next door to see if my neighbors were experiencing similar issues. No, it seems, this is a problem unique to my apartment. A problem that has been a recurring theme, for at least the last year. Sweet. According to my neighbor, the old tenants moved out because the flooding was such a frustrating problem. Double sweet, I thought. Maintenance came, and very kindly and efficiently helped me move all my belongings from the back two bedrooms (the only rooms seemingly affected). They secured a hotel for us to stay at while they pumped the water from our apartment, cleaned the carpets, and set up dehumidifiers to finish the drying process. They assured me no mold would grow.
Knowing the apartment had flooded before forcing the previous tenants to move, did not inspire a lot of faith in management. But Friday, an hour after I calmly but firmly expressed my concerns to some poor leasing agent, I was reassured that everything would be done to ensure my comfort; including letting me out of my lease, transferring me to a new apartment (depending upon availability), or getting the problem fixed once and for all ASAP.
My concerns were assuaged. Maybe management isn't an evil corporate empire after all, and maybe my faith in human decency doesn't have to be shaken. We can hope. In the meantime, we continue at the Super 8 motel (the only thing available in SC during parent's weekend) until maintenance gives us the go ahead to move back into our bedroom.

You're gonna be Pop-u-u-lar

2010-09-28T06:52:00.000-07:00

I think I have mentioned how much I love the women in my ward here in State College. I feel like I have found my people. I love the women, and they seem to love me in return, it's fabulous! I even feel sometimes that I might actually be popular here. I don't think I've ever felt that in my life - especially high school. High school (in Oregon) was not a cherished time of life for me.
In my excitement, I called my little sister to tell her the good news. Totally silly, I confess, but for a girl who has struggled with this for the better part of my life, I was excited. When I told my sister I thought I might be popular here in SC, I completely expected her to say, "oh yeah, you were lame in high school." But instead, she surprised me with, "if you weren't popular in high school it was all your own choosing. Sara," she said, "it's not that you were unpopular. No one made fun of you, you weren't an outcast." She, of course, is right. It's not that people hated me, it is more that I didn't "feel" accepted so I pulled into myself.
I think, to a certain extent, I did the same thing in college. People liked me well enough, but I wasn't confident enough in myself to believe them. I was too busy analyzing their every act to figure out if they actually liked me. is this person inviting me because they like me, or was I included because all my roommates were invited? Are they just being polite? Even the many friends who came to my surprise birthday party my sister arranged, are they here for me, or because my sister asked them to be here and they wanted something to do on a Friday night?
It wasn't until my mid 20's that I began to gain enough confidence and self-acceptance to not worry so much. Since then, I have enjoyed my relationships more and more. To the point, now, that I feel like I could actually be popular. That sounds so high school lame, but it is a big breakthrough for me.
As my mother said, when I called to tell her, "everyone should be popular at some point in their lives."
So thank you Megan for lovingly guiding me through some much needed personal self-realization. What a lovely gift!! I love you!

Legwarmers vs. Leggings and a very sweet woman

2010-09-26T11:08:00.000-07:00

I teach seminary in the basement of one of my student's homes. The mom and I are friends and we chat from time to time as I'm leaving. A few weeks ago, I mentioned to this woman that I was looking for cool 80s style legwarmers to keep my legs from freezing over when I'm too lazy to change out of my skirt upon arriving home. I'm pretty sure I said this casually, and in passing, but on Friday, she stopped me and pulled out a pair of leggings she had bought for me. She didn't just see them and think of me. No, this super adorable woman, who works full time while fulfilling her super busy Relief Society President calling, went to three different stores in search of legwarmers for me. She didn't find any, so instead, bought me some leggings. She even left the tag on them in case I wanted to trade them in for something I liked better. I couldn't believe how ridiculously sweet, crazy thoughtful, and a little silly the whole scene was.

Just another reason why it's good to live in State College, PA and belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Done with Downers

2010-09-13T10:05:00.000-07:00

I am so done with feeling sorry for myself. I'm done with temper tantrums and funks and self-recrimination. I am eager to start a new week with the new gorgeous day. So to counter my series of I hates, here is a brief list of I loves.

I love coming home to a quiet apartment after teaching seminary. I love taking a nap, preparing my lesson for the next day and only then feeling ready to tackle whatever else I need to do with my day.
I love having plenty of work to do so as to keep Matthew and I fed and housed.
I love beautiful weather and being able to get out and enjoy it.
I love a husband who supports even failed efforts at dinner, and the re-tries that come out only moderately better.
I love visiting teaching and the promise of fabulous new relationships with wonderful new women. Especially when, at first glance, we have very little in common.
I love a Heavenly Father who comes to the rescue when I seem to be at my lowest.
I love my family, but I especially love my sisters and the evolution our relationships have undergone as we've grown up.
I love having a medium to express my thoughts where, even though it's completely public, I feel completely secure.

Thanks everyone for your love and support, even if I don't know who you are.

Complaints from a College Apartment

2010-09-10T06:37:00.000-07:00

While these past two months of being here have been some of our happiest in our marriage to date, and while State College is beautiful, our ward is fabulous, and I even enjoy waking up at 5:30 in the morning to teach my cute little seminary students; is it okay if I complain for just a few moments? I promise it will be brief.

Here is a short list of items that will not be missed when I FINALLY make it out of this stage of life.

Bad carpeting. I don't think I've lived on remotely new carpeting (installed in the last ten years) in the last decade. Wouldn't it be nice to have carpet that actually looked vacuumed five minutes after you've zoomed over it?
Really bad hardware. I know it's a small thing, but is is possible to update your tenant's hardware every ten to twenty years?
White walls. I absolutely YEARN for the days I can live without white walls. Matt's not so keen on this one, but after growing up in the military for the first half of my life and living in apartments for the second half, I absolutely quit white. Let's hope when finally given the chance to choose my own color, I don't go to crazy and try fuchsia.
Sharing walls. While this apartment has been lots quieter than others in the past, I still look forward to the day I can run appliances at all hours, turn my TV all the way up, jump up and down with crazy abandon, all the while not feeling guilty that someone may be annoyed by my unnecessary noises.
Community parking. One of my only ambitions in life is to graduate into a garage. (Sigh) Someday.
Limited Storage. And having to use that limited storage for lame things like boxes, because I know I'll be using them in another year or so anyway, so why get rid of them? So while boxes reside in storage, our real storage items, like boxes of Christmas decorations, and boxes of memorabilia hang out in our spare bedroom/ alternative storage.

Okay, I realize these are silly things, and there are far more important things in life to lament, but for now I'll stick to these.

Penn State Football - It's Begun

2010-09-10T06:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, these pictures may seem a bit over kill, but Matthew and I have been eagerly awaiting the start of Penn State Football solely for the footage below. We've been hearing for the last several months how crazy State College gets on a game weekend. How you don't try to drive on game day, and how the population of the city surges to rival that of the other major metropoli (is that how you pluralize that word) in the state of PA.
We've heard about it, but it wasn't until last Saturday that we saw it first hand. Cars were backed up close to two miles on our street trying to get into the vast areas they've creatively turned into parking. Pastures once used for grazing cattle, the grass in front of the stadium, no spare spot of ground within a mile of the stadium was left vacant when given the opportunity to make an easy $40 - $120 per vehicle.
Matthew's Business program had a tailgate party that Matt and I walked to (given the road situation illustrated below). It was a good time, but when the vast majority of his class mates were nursing their 4th beers at 9 am, and well into their second six pack by 10:30, we decided to call it a day and went home. While we don't negate the possibility of being sucked into Penn State Football mania, for the time being we'll save our money and follow the game from home.

This picture doesn't do the size of the stadium justice. It's absolutely gigantic!

Random Picture at Mount Rushmore

2010-09-10T05:57:00.000-07:00

I guess I should post these couple of pictures of us at Mount Rushmore since the likelihood of me actually scrap booking them at some point is fairly slim. So here we are. We stopped there on our way across the country. I think the only pictures we took the whole time. Matt has recently been wishing we could do the trip again and take longer this time to see more sights along the way. Maybe next year. I'm not sure I'm quite up for that sort of road trip just yet.

Thoughts on School

2010-08-22T10:47:00.000-07:00

A few years ago when Matt graduated from law school, he immediately started regretting his decision not to go to medical school, pursuing an engineering degree, or finishing his chemistry minor. He perfectly appreciated his duty as the bread winner of our family, but I knew that going back to school was the wish of his heart.
Having just become the proud owner of $100k+ of student loans, I was not super eager about adding more to the pile. But wanting to be the supportive wife, I told him as soon as he paid off the first set of loans he could go back for which ever degree suited his fancy.
So it was a surprise to both of us when a little over a year later both of us were equally crazy excited about the adventure of his going back to school, a mite earlier than either of us expected. And a year after that, here we are in State College, Pennsylvania. It is so fun to be in a college town again.
School starts on Monday and you can feel the anticipation of a new year in the air. Parents have been dropping their children off (U-Haul in tow - who needs that much stuff for a college dorm room?) all weekend long, signs are up everywhere welcoming the students back, and grocery stores are crowded as students fill up on ramen and frozen pizza.
I never thought I would be this excited to be back in this lifestyle but there is something almost palpable about the hopeful anticipation of this new adventure. It's fun to dream of all the fun new places we could land. Even our time here in State College is laced with that same sense of fun.
I especially feel it when I go to church. Growing up as a military brat, I became adept at quickly making new friends and acquaintances as well as helping other new people to feel welcome. Somehow as I got older I lost that talent - I started waiting for others to do the welcoming. But being here in State College has brought back that childhood ability. I'm introducing myself, getting involved, and making friends like never before.
So while Matthew is having his adventure learning new things and meeting new people, I'll be having one of my own, one I think is ever so much more fun!!

Days like these are so rare

2010-08-15T12:26:00.001-07:00

Do you ever have days that seem to float by? Not that you do anything extremely interesting or fabulous, but you are so happy and serene that no matter how lost you get or how far you have to drive for a meeting (an hour and a half round trip) nothing seems to get you down? I had a couple of those days this past week. True treasures in deed. I spent time getting to know new friends, helping out others, driving to a training meeting for my new calling (Early morning Seminary teacher), doing laundry, paying bills, working, reading, and spending time with darling Matthew. Definitely not anything out of the extraordinary, but lovely nonetheless. Why can't I go through life with that sort of attitude all the time? Any ideas?

Litter Bugs Me

2010-08-03T15:54:00.000-07:00

Tonight as I was driving home from the store, I saw a guy casually drop his cigarette out of his truck window - his hand hanging there looking very innocent. It made me think of this guy I worked with when I lived in Boston - a guy who called himself the Bronze Adonis. We were out to dinner while travelling for work. The restaurant was a very nice steak house as only a town teeming with old East Coast men can produce. While eating, a woman sitting at the nearby bar unwrapped a piece of candy and, like the man in the car, innocently and casually threw the wrapper on the floor.
Unfortunately for her, everyone at our table saw her do it. And even more unfortunately for our little litterer, the Bronze Adonis said aloud and in a very irritated voice what the rest of us at the table were already thinking, "Who does that? That is so bush league!" The now embarrassed girl, heard the remark, and while trying to appear just as casual, bent down and picked up the discarded wrapper. I remember at the time feeling sorry for this poor girl, but also feeling some small victory for litter haters everywhere. So when I saw the man in the truck, I had the strongest desire to yell out my own window, "Who does that? Litter haters unite!!"

It's Sunday which means I'm feeling contemplative

2010-07-25T13:07:00.000-07:00

Here is a send out going to everyone in my little world asking for your own stories. As I sit on my couch in yet another student apartment, it's hard not to notice how different my life has turned out from my high school imaginings, college dreams, or even mid-twenties ideals. I'm not despondent, I know everything happens for a reason, but, when I was in high school, I figured I'd be married by 23. In college, I thought I'd have children sometime during that decade. And in my mid-twenties I assumed I'd be in a house by age 30. So with all of my ideas of what a lovely life looks like thrown out the window (don't worry, I'm still convinced I have a lovely life), I'm wondering if others too have been thrown a big curve ball by life. Who else would never have thought they'd be where they are or doing what they're doing? Someone, please tell me your life is not what you envisioned either, and why it's still so much better than your early imaginings!!

As always, this question is open to people who know me or people who have happened on this blog while looking for actual helpful advice on that darned skin problem. I'm no respecter of nice helpful friends, be they new or old.

Weekend Trip

2010-07-21T09:32:00.000-07:00

Something fun about not having children, other than making up fun reasons for why you don't have any, is being able to take trips to see family and friends without hours of planning and preparation. This past weekend was just such an example. Friday morning, I drove down and spent time with darling college roommate Ada. Her in-laws live in a gorgeous home outside of Baltimore with a pool, plenty of space inside and out and lots of nice cool air conditioning. I could easily see why she spends a month there every summer. I love visiting her and remembering all the fun things I love about her - especially her hugs.
After visiting with Ada, I drove over to another college friend's house, Leah. Leah and I have kept randomly running into each other over the years, each time realizing we have more in common than we had previously thought. I love Leah for her easy openness and her honest acknowledgement that she is just as wacky as I am. I tell you, I get along so much better with people who recognize their own neuroses. Hey, we all have them, isn't life so much more fun to just embrace them?
After saying good-bye to my new best friend Adam, Leah's 3-year little boy, I made my way through downtown D.C, past the worst pedestrian's maybe on the planet, through every single red light, and behind every person going 10 miles an hour to see my darling Isabella and Marie from Wenatchee. Isabella, one of the high school kids I tutored, won a state-wide essay contest on what Gear Up means to her and thereby won a trip to D.C. with Marie, one of the Wenatchee High School's Gear Up administrators, to supervise. I absolutely fell in love with Isabella while living in the Wenatchka so of course I made time, while I was in town, to see them. It was wonderful to get to spend some solid time with them, trying to impart any last minute words of wisdom, like "make who you marry the most selfish decision you ever make," and "texting while you are having brunch with someone is kind of rude, put your phone away." Hopefully she remembers something of what I tried to impart.
Saturday afternoon, after a very quick run through of the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum I drove down to Fredericksburg, VA to see my brother Phillip and his lovely family. I am so super duper excited to have them within easy driving distance. I am going to love getting to see them and fall in love with them every two to three months. We played games, chatted, played more games, ate, played even more games and slept. Oh, and Sunday we went to church. What a fun weekend. My new favorite thing about Phillip's family is the way he and his wife are teaching their children to serve - often by volunteering them. But the children don't complain or shirk. They go and do. It was amazing to witness!
So thank you husband for letting me go and take our only car with me. And thanks to my wonderful family and friends for hosting me this past weekend. It was a wonderful excursion!

State College Women

2010-07-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

Although the humidity just might kill me I think I am going to be highly entertained here in State College, PA for the next two years? Why is that you ask? Well, partially because there is a dollar theater and I can finally afford to go to the movies again, but mostly because I think I have found some kindred spirits in my new ward. We had a Relief Society social last week and the women at my table provided sometimes interesting, sometimes informational, and oftentimes hysterical conversation. I fell in love with these women and am so excited to have the next two years to make new life-long friends!!

Fun Thoughts

2010-07-11T11:08:00.000-07:00

Has it really been a month and a half since I have posted? Sorry, I've had a lot on my plate. One such item being a road trip from Portland to Pennsylvania. Along the way, we visited Matt's grandparents, my brother Paul and his wife Brie, Mount Rushmore, and Nauvoo (an LDS church history site). We enjoyed our trip that took us through scenic locales like Idaho, Wyoming, South Dakota (the eastern half, because the western half is really quite lovely), and Iowa. By the end of the week we were so done with driving and road trip snacks. But at least we could still say we loved each other. So that's a plus. But here are a few highlights of the trip.

We stopped in Utah to visit Paul and Brie in Provo over the weekend so on Sunday we braved Paul's singles ward he has been assigned to. In Relief Society, one of the cute little counselors asked if I was Brie's mom. Her mother!! To make matters worse, this isn't the first time I've been accused of such a thing. The other time happened five years ago when I was living at home while on sabbatical and one of Paul's high school friends made the same mistake. Thankfully I didn't take too much offense to it because it seemed a little too absurd, but even still, I find it noteworthy enough to make mention of here. So, although I don't feel old enough to have a three year-old, I guess I am old enough to have a 21 year old. Sweet.

The other observation I wanted to make here is that Wyoming, but especially Iowa have really great rest stops. It seemed to me that the less exciting a state, the greater their efforts to make the time spent on their roads as pleasant an experience as possible. This in contrast to Washington state, that had, as at least one of their rest stops, a male and female port-a-potty. So, if you do have to travel through some rather, dare I say it, drab states, don't despair, at least your bladder will be thankful, if not your other senses.

Patience is not my virtue - but I'm trying

2010-05-30T11:28:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me remotely well knows I am not a patient person. Give me someone to help and I have the patience of Job but when regulating my own personal affairs, I have some issues.

This is probably why the Lord has seen fit to regularly give me opportunities to work on this dismal shortcoming of mine. I was telling my mother the other day, that I quit Patience 101. It's DUMB. I thought about it later, and realized, after Years of struggling, a few things I think God wants me to be learning. You see, I've always looked at gaining patience almost as a punishment from God. Sort of as though He's in heaven looking down on this poor unfortunate soul saying, "Dang it Sara, you will learn patience whether you like it or not! You won't get married when you want, you won't have children when you want and you won't get a house when you want. You just have to wait!!" I've thought that if I could just learn patience then the Lord would see my efforts, grade them accordingly and let me move on.

But I'm coming to learn that this is a completely false notion. God doesn't withhold blessings just to prove a point. What sort of loving father would do that? Instead, He has a very specific plan with certain milestones coming at very specific times. I've learned that after all is said and done, I kind of like God's plan for me. I really wouldn't want it any other way. But I'm also learning, I need to cultivate a spirit of patience to get through the interim periods with my sanity in check. I need patience for me, not to prove something to God.

I love journals. I love being able to read my mother's from when she was my age and I love being able to read through mine. It's sometimes painful to read, but definitely helps me to learn from my own mistakes so hopefully I won't be cursed to continue to repeat them. I learned through a recent reading through the last three years that I tend to sabotage myself. I give myself random, arbitrary deadlines and then curse God when my life doesn't go according to my silly little plan. This, obviously isn't helping anyone; not my supportive friends and family, not my poor husband, and most especially not me. So, I write this post in an effort to gain some perspective and patience. Life is wonderful, children AND a house are somewhere in the future, and until then, let's party like it's 1999!!

Just Say "You Lose!!"

2010-05-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

My current calling at church is teaching Sunday School to 17 and 18-year olds. They are a large but generally highly entertaining group of kids. A few weeks ago we were talking about how to resist temptation and I told them about about a girl who took resisting temptation to new levels. Whenever she felt her good girl resolve slipping, like if she didn't feel like praying, she would tell herself that's just what Satan would want her to do. At this point she would counter his effects by saying with strong conviction "You lose Satan! I'm going to pray anyway!" (said with passionate karate chop motions.)

My class thought this was pretty entertaining, so I challenged them to have a "You lose" moment some time during the week. The following Sunday I got a report from one my students who found his own resolve slipping during his Statistics class. Should he or shouldn't he cheat. So in the middle of class he yells out "You lose!" My other students who happened to be in the same class all busted up laughing while the remaining students were left to wonder what in the world was going on. Now, granted, this boy might have just taken an opportunity to yell at random. But even still, my terribly profound words of wisdom will hopefully be ingrained on their young minds. At least for a few more months.

I Quit Sponge Rollers

2010-05-10T13:07:00.000-07:00

So this is kind of silly, but I have decided that sponge rollers don't play nice. A few months ago, my sister mentioned she had tried them with crazy cute results. It brought back all sorts of memories of me as a little girl with really adorable Shirley Temple ringlets. So I went to our local dollar store and invested $3 in sponge rollers. After putting the curlers in, I remembered the other half of the memories of me as a girl suffering through a very uncomfortable night's sleep. The next morning I woke up, took out the curlers and found, to my horror, super duper tight curls that more resembled little pigtails than Shirley Temple ringlets. Only after 12 hours did they finally relax enough to look cute.

Several months later I thought rolling in the morning leaving five hours for drying time would give me the curl I wanted without the pigtails I didn't. No good. Even after blow drying the sponge rollers for ten minutes, only half of my hair was actually dry, leaving my hair looking lame (see above picture). I'm so done. No super duper Shirley Temple curls for Mother's Day. Thankfully I have hats to hide disastrous hair results. So blegh to sponge rollers. Yeah to hats. That's the final determination.

Does anyone want a bag full of slightly used sponge rollers?

I Love

2010-05-07T23:42:00.000-07:00

A few things I love these days:

@ I love being able to connect with women who are virtual strangers to me. I love being a woman and all of the natural bonding that comes along with it.

@ I love sunny days. Thanks Oregon for having the wettest April in recent history. And thanks Oregon for reminding me what a joy warm, sunny days can be.

@ I love working part time. Sometimes I forget what a charmed life I lead to not have children and still not have to work full time.

@ I love having time in my schedule to be able to say yes to service opportunities.

@ I love my 17 and 18 year olds to whom I teach Sunday School. I love the exploration of the Old Testament we get to do together.

@ I love the book my husband recently finished. "The Adventures of Jonathan Wordsymthe"

@ I love that I have a explanation to all the joint pain, muscle pain, weight gain, and sluggishness I've been feeling for the last couple of months. Hypothyroidism. Who knew everything would be answered by one simple disorder. I love that my salvation comes in the form of a simple pill I take once a day. I also love that this said pill was free to me because my very kind doctor allowed me to use my mother's thyroid medication she had received but was no longer using. I know it sounds awful and my husband was horrified that my mother was dispensing drugs to me, but I love free drugs that make my whole body sigh with relief.

@ Finally, I love the hope I am allowing myself to feel that this pill might also be the key to my infertility issues. Turns out my thyroid is completely out of whack and may have been for multiple years without my ever knowing it.

Confessions From my Parent's Basement

2010-05-07T23:17:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I went to a Relief Society activity filled with food, spa treatments, movies, and lots and lots of girl talk. It was fun to get to know a few of the women in my parent's ward and it made me a little sad to have to leave in a few months to be a Penn Stater. There are some really fun women here and it could be a lot of fun to become invested here. Hopefully in a few months I will be able to say the same thing of the women I'll meet in State College.

But even with the really cool women inhabiting the area, not to mention my wonderful family (including amazing parents, adorable nephews and two nieces) I will be happy to move on.

I love my parents and their basement, I really do. Thank you parents for letting us mooch off of you for the last couple of months. But, is it too materialistic to say that I miss my stuff? My spices and cooking supplies, my bed, my TV. Not that my parent's have inferior belongings, they just aren't "mine" anymore. And I am eager to get back to my stuff.

I'm eager to get into a routine again. For some reason, living in a temporary location makes routines difficult for me - even though I'm pretty sure it's all in my head.

I'm eager to invest myself into a new place. Eager to explore my surroundings and fall in love with what makes it unique. Eager to get to know new people and become part of each other's lives. Eager to become involved in the community.

I guess, in essence, I'm eager to feel like my life is moving forward. It's been hard for me to live a temporary existence. I was raised very much to do something with my whole heart or none at all. I want to give of myself and invest, but knowing I'm only here for a few months brings out the less attractive, antsy side of me. I'm trying very hard to see this time as the blessing I know the Lord intends it to be for me. Trying to see my family as much as I can and make sure I fill my canteen with all the momma and grandchildren and sibling time I can possibly fit in there. Trying to enjoy not cooking every night (shouldn't be that hard right?). Trying to make sure I learn everything I should from this experience before it's too late. So hopefully in a couple of months when we're en route to our next adventure I don't look back and realize I didn't put my whole heart into a very special period in my life.

We Are . . . Penn State

2010-04-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

That's the cheer they gave all weekend long. While Penn State is a supremely large university, the MBA program is not - less than 100 students per class. But what they lack in size they make up in passion for their school. We were overwhelmed this weekend by the loyalty both students and alumni have for their alma mater - the enthusiasm is definitely infectious. We are certain this is where the Lord wants us to be at this time in our lives and could quite possibly be a life changing experience for us. While the physical location is absolutely gorgeous, rolling hills and trees everywhere you look, the energy of the school just takes hold of you and makes you too want to shout, We Are . . . Penn State! So wish us luck. Luck that we'll be able to hold on to that energy and luck that we won't kill or be killed by the drunk underclassmen roaming around cursing like sailors.

Yep, this Hospital will do just Fine

2010-04-09T18:43:00.000-07:00

I think I've mentioned that Matthew and I will be moving to State College, PA in a few months so he can attend Penn State's Business School. We made the decision, but determined it would still be a good idea to come check out the area. So we flew in a few days ago for admit weekend. Thursday night after going to bed early to make up for the lack of sleep thanks to the red-eye flight we had taken the night before, I woke up with searing pain in my lower abdomen. It felt like my body was being ripped apart. These were no ordinary "monthly" cramps. I can't say I have ever writhed in pain until that night. Matthew was absolutely wonderful when I woke him up crying. He gave me a priesthood blessing and got me to the hospital. He didn't panic, complain, or ask if this was really necessary, but stayed extremely calm and supportive.

After several hours of waiting and tests and waiting and vital signs being registered my very competent doctor came in to tell me that I have a cyst on either ovary and the pain was most likely caused by one of them rupturing. He sent me home with some pain pills along with everything I would need to show my Oregon OBGYN so she can remove them. Whew, what a relief. Not that I am super excited about having two sizable cysts, oh and a polyp to boot, in my body, but after several hours in the hospital I had started feeling remarkably better and had begun wondering whether I had made all of the pain up. It was nice to know that 1. There was in deed something the matter, 2. That it is extremely fixable, 3. It can wait until I can be at home, and 4. Penn State's hospital is well equipped with both pre-heated blankets and kind and competent staff.

A Birthday Surprise

2010-04-03T18:41:00.000-07:00

My mother is a funny woman. You really can't predict how exactly she's going to react to any given situation. In college when I got a 100% on my Accounting 100 final she replied simply, "That's nice." Nice?! That's all I get? That's nice?!? When I told her I was thinking of moving to Seattle from Boston she about jumped through the phone line to kiss me she was so excited. When I told her I was moving from Seattle to Portland she again underwhelmed me with her enthusiasm. I called her on it. Why was she so excited about me moving to Seattle but not Portland. She gave me some lame excuse about how it's harder for her to get excited about things as she gets older. But, she explained, it's also a lot harder to get her really upset. Life is a trade off, I guess.

So this year, for my mother's birthday, we as her children and husband, decided to get her a new flat screen TV. She's been absolutely pining for one for years but can't seem to justify the expense when she's got a perfectly good TV already. She gave up asking her children for one and started asking instead for donations to her TV fund. She figured that if she saved for a year she'd have enough to buy one for herself for Christmas.

About a month before her birthday, we started plotting out the purchase. Matt and I would be the organizers, Josh would install, and Father would make the final decision on the purchase (since it would it be his TV too). We had it all planned out - all except my mother's reaction. Would she give another lame, "That's nice," or would she really be excited?

On the morning of her birthday one of her best friend's and I took her out to run some errands and take her to lunch while my dad and brother Josh did the installation. It was all ready and time to come home. My stomach was all a-twitter with anticipation. On the way she commented that birthdays just weren't exciting for her anymore. I could hardly contain myself. We got home, with me jetting into the living room to get into position with my camera at the ready. She finally came in and screamed as soon as she saw what we had done. The cheesy grin, the look of pure joy and the random shouts of "I love my TV" were everything we as her family could ask for. It was the perfect response.

Double Dating

2010-03-13T13:19:00.000-08:00

Last night I had the privilege of going on a double date with my sister Megan and her two boys; Aaron - 7 and Edward - 4. At first when she asked me to be her son Edward's date, I was nervous and skeptical. Edward doesn't immediately scream ideal dater. I don't often get to see the grand children on their own. Normally it's only when everyone is together. I have gratefully discovered that children can be COMPLETELY different in large groups at grandma's house versus on their own at their house. My almost 4-year old nephew Seth loves to hate me when at grandma's house and is constantly pushing me away. I think he likes to be a pill. But when I go to his house he runs up and hugs me and wants to show me everything. Likewise, my almost 5-year old nephew Edward is easily the most willful and anti-social grand child when at grandma's house.
So imagine my surprise when I showed up at his house to find a super sweet and eager date. They recently moved houses and he was all about showing me everything in his new abode. I immediately started calling him "date" which seemed to please him and he was all too willing to hold my hand (like all good dates do). And like a good date, his hand was nice and warm.
The plan for the evening, was dinner, dessert (gelato, mmm yum) and a movie. Standard date fare. Dinner proved a little tricky as some of Edward's less adorable 4-year old traits came out. He didn't want to stay in his seat and refused to eat the dinner his mother had ordered for him. He ended up filling up with soda and the free chips brought to the table.
My favorite part of the evening was near the end of dinner. Edward's mother was quickly becoming frustrated with her son and was on the verge of taking him home. The two conditions she presented him that would allow him to stay on the date was to stay in his seat and eat at least a bite of the his burrito. I think he understood the seriousness of the situation because he calmed down a little and submitted to one bite. The bite being some spanish rice with some cheese. He protested and won the elimination of the cheese but was still forced to eat the rice. He grudgingly allowed the fork to enter his mouth but once the food was deposited his eyes instantly swelled with tears. You'd think his mother had forced hot sauce down his throat. He was on the verge of spitting it out but the look his mother gave him and the threat of going home was enough to keep it in. I would have felt sorry for him but one bite of spanish rice was not asking much and it was kind of entertaining to watch this small child agonize over not wanting to eat and not want to go home. In the end, thanks to large quantities of soda to wash it down, the food was eaten and disaster was averted. Edward was allowed to stay out for the evening.
After dinner we headed for gelato and then on to a movie (that while cute was maybe not the most engaging for a 4-year old) and for the rest of the night Edward was a perfect angel. I was so impressed. He even left me a very articulate voice memo on my phone expressing his appreciation for taking him to the movie and giving him popcorn. Silly boy. I love my nephews and I love opportunities to spend some more one-on-one time with them.

Penn State it Is

2010-03-07T21:17:00.000-08:00

After months and months of dreaming and planning and doubting and praying and waiting, we have finally made a decision. It helped that Penn State made an offer we couldn't refuse (free tuition with a stipend). So it's off to Penn State we go. Who knows when or how we'll get there. All of those details have yet to be decided, but in the meantime we are just excited to have made that fateful decision and to feel good that State College, PA is where we are meant to be. Yay!!

Am I Cool Enough for an iPhone?

2010-03-05T15:35:00.000-08:00

This is the question I have been asking myself since losing my iPod in December. I'm up for a phone upgrade and it could be nice to have them all in one, but am I cool enough to join the iPhone club? In the Apple commercials I always seem to connect with the PC guy. I've always had basic phones, don't really text or surf the web. So can I pull it off? I couldn't when I thought I would be charged $500 for one, but when I found out I qualified for a $200 one, all of a sudden my heart started shifting. Maybe I'm not the Apple guy now, but maybe I could be if I had the phone. I've become a red heels girl, surely I can become an iPhone girl to boot. (Do iPhoners use the phrase "to boot?")
Either way, I've made the plunge. Though narcissistic that I am I decided I didn't want the one easily accessible at the store, no, I wanted to buy one online so as to get it engraved with "Sariasis." So I bought one, and three days into anxiously awaiting it's arrival I discovered I sent it to the apartment I haven't lived in for two years. Turns out, after hanging out with various Apple and FedEx representatives for an hour, you can't reroute a package (at least not an iPhone) until FedEx has made at least one delivery to the original address. At first I thought this was absolutely ludicrous. What if the person who's now living in my apartment accepts the package? Am I out of luck? The nice man at FedEx told me they shouldn't accept the package, it won't have their name on it. To which I responded (quite sensibly, I thought), no one asks after the name on the package, neither the carrier nor the recipient, because who sends a package somewhere they don't live? I know I don't, why would anyone else? They didn't really have any satisfactory answer to that so I went back to Apple, where a very sweet girl assured me that, while that is the policy (for security reasons I think I understand), if someone should be there to accept the package, Apple will do some investigation and hopefully get me my phone.
I was appeased and am now praying that whoever lives at my old address isn't home on Monday to make off with my new endeavor into coolness. And if they do, I pray they will be nice enough when either Apple or me come knocking to retrieve said endeavor. Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion!

A week later . . .
Turns out they let anyone have an iPhone whether they're cool or not. FedEx was kind enough to reroute my package without it going to the old address first. Yay!! I excitedly powered it up only to find out that the seemingly super simple activation process was not so easily mastered. So off to my local AT&T Wireless store I toddled. Turns out the process was not easily mastered by them either. It took two very nice individuals a solid hour plus to figure out what had gone wrong and how to correct it.
But ah wonders of wonders they did and I went home to finish the job only to find out that while I had a new phone I didn't have contacts. Somehow they had gotten lost in the transition. Not that I have that many friends, but I really am that lazy that I didn't want to have to re-enter all of them. So I called AT&T this time to spend yet another hour plus on the phone with yet another very nice person. This young woman was quite possible the most hysterical customer service person I have ever had the pleasure of dealing with. Though at the end of the hour she could not help me. She directed me to the Apple customer service that had closed moments before. Argh! Though not in the "I hate this stupid @!&$* phone," but in a "Sheesh, silly Sara and her silly this-phone-had-better-be-worth-it" sort of way.
I then spent the next hour or so fiddling with my phone and all the cool new apps I found. And somewhere along the way, I found the magic key to unlocking all my contacts. Ah Heaven itself. I wished there was a way of getting a hold of my cute AT&T rep just so I could tell her the happy news. I just knew she'd be so proud of me. It's too bad there is no way of doing that. That's a very long story to say that after multiple hours invested with the nice people of FedEx, Apple, AT&T (both in store and on the phone) I now have an iPhone.

Anyway, it's been a couple of days, and while I'm learning to overcome new addictions associated with the phone, I have to say, it's kind of cool. And maybe I can be cool too.

We are Here! We are Here! We are Here!

2010-03-01T15:24:00.000-08:00

That's what I feel like shouting at the top of my lungs, just like those loveable Who's down in Who-ville. After a month of packing and many more months of contemplating, we are now officially on to the phase before the next real phase of our lives - e.g. living in my parent's basement while we wile away the time before really and truly moving on to the next phase of our lives - Matthew going back to school.
Complicated? Maybe, but I'm glad to be here. Glad that Wenatchee sent us off with beautiful weather, glad that after a few days of gloom in Sherwood, Oregon is welcoming us with beautiful weather, and glad that I have several months here with my family before heading off again. I feel like now is the time to soak in all the family time I can possibly handle while trying to work closer to full-time, before having to ditch out.
Because who knows when we'll be in driving distance again? We're seriously considering Penn State (more news after this weekend) and I was noticing that only 4% of their graduating class gets placed in the West. Not the Northwest, just the West. Which doesn't necessarily mean anything, but I'm not putting a lot of faith in us ending up here after school. Who knows though. Life has been surprising thus far.
Wow, that's a lot of rambling to say we have made it to Portland and are excited to be here. There's lots of room in the basement if anyone feels like visiting!?!

Last Minute Thoughts of My Fair Town

2010-02-21T16:37:00.000-08:00

Today was my last day of church here in Wenatchee. As such I was able to good-bye to some while others said good-bye to me. I realize that sounds like semantics, but I'm learning that the two are not always the same.

Anyway, as I think about my 21 months in the fair city of Wenatchka I am most thankful for and will miss the following the most:

1. Beautiful weather - it has been sunny and 50 for the last week. We've had some dreary weather as of late, but most often it is gorgeous. I'm thankful that in the last two weeks I'm able to enjoy the Wenatchee weather I have come to love.

2. I love the people who inhabit smaller towns. Not that big town people are inferior, but I love the people who inhabit smaller towns. They are down to earth, happy to help, and welcoming of all new people. From the people at church to my little high school friends, to the random assortment of people I've met around town. Small town people, as a general rule, are just good folks.

3. I love Wenatchee non-traffic. I love that at 5:30 it takes me 8 minutes to get across the bridge instead of 4. I've noticed that I get stressed out now when I drive on freeways in big cities. All thanks to the lack of traffic here in my town. Also thanks to the lack of driving I do these days. I'm still able to walk just about anywhere I go.

4. I love always finding a good parking space and never having to wait for a table when I dine out. I always feel like a VIP - it's fantastic!

5. I have love love loved the opportunities of service I have found with my cute high school kids and my most precious church kids. They mean the world to me and I will most likely miss them the most. Just them alone make my time in the Wenatch completely worthwhile.

Thanks Wenatchee for being such a hotbed of life lessons, growth and support. I have enjoyed you and will always hold you in high regard. Even if, on the date of departure, I say to the rear-view mirror - "see ya suckas."

Grandparents and Their Surrogates

2010-02-07T21:41:00.000-08:00

I may have mentioned before this adorable couple in my ward. They are as round as they are tall and are of that indeterminate age when I can't tell if they are my parent's age or my grandparents age. They are retired so I just assume grandparents. And whenever I see them they say how much they adore me, which isn't that what grandparents are supposed to do? So, they along with some other special individuals have become my adopted gp's.

I've never really known my grandparents. On my father's side, my grandmother died in childbirth with him, and my grandfather died when I was 2 or 3. On my mother's side, my grandfather died when my mother was a teenager and my grandmother (while the longest lived) was away in New Mexico living close to her 50 (or so it seems) other grandchildren. One of my only memories of her is that she called me arrogant when I was a teenager. It was probably deserved, but at the time I remember thinking what an awful thing to say to your grand daughter. And it has obviously stuck with me. We also never visited her (much to her dismay); so I have to confess I never really knew her either.

As such, over the last few years, I've latched on to gp-like figures. In high school it was our home teacher Brother Morton (I loved that man) and in Wenatchee, home of, it seems, every senior citizen when they're not spending the winters in Arizona, I have the the cute Eldreds (mentioned above) along with this sweet sister I get to visit teach. They say lovely things whenever I see them and treat me just how I think my grandparents would treat me were they alive and able to know me. I think my own gp's must be as grateful as I am for these heaven-sent individuals. So, if you are of gp age, be nice to the younger people you meet, you could very well be acting on behalf of grateful gps in heaven.

Moving

2010-02-06T08:17:00.000-08:00

Since last writing, Matthew and I have decided the best course of action is to move back to Portland. The temporary job market (especially for attorneys) is practically non-existent, meanwhile, with all the connections Matt had to make looking for a job, we feel he has a better chance of finding something worthwhile to do with his time there. And since we'll only be there a few months, we figured moving in with the parents made the most sense.
My mom is so funny. She tried to sound so nonchalant when I brought it up, but has since been calling to make sure we're still moving and to give updates on her progress in getting everything all ready for us. I love her!!
So in a few short weeks we'll move everything to a storage unit and say goodbye to our beloved Wenatchka.
It seems odd to me that for the last few years I haven't been able to stay anywhere longer than about 20 months. I always figured my military-brat days were over when I got married. I thought Matt would settle me down somewhere. I guess not. In fact, military life was never this hectic. At least growing up we stayed somewhere for 3 years. Though for the adventurer in me, I wouldn't trade it for anything!
Matt's still in the process of interviewing and hearing from schools, but when we know, I'll let you know as well. Thanks everyone for being so supportive and for being excited to see me when I call and say I'm coming to town!!

Timing is Everything

2010-01-17T17:34:00.001-08:00

These last couple of days have been interesting. Thursday, we got an email from the stake president (regional bishop you might say) to ask if he could meet with us on Sunday. Friday, Matthew got laid off from his job. The story goes that his boss was planning on letting him go due to a shortage of incoming work the very night Matthew told him his plans for grad school. Supposedly, he and his wife (the firm administrator) sat on the information for a day before deciding to let him go anyway. They could be acting vindictively but for me and my belief in humanity, I'm choosing to believe their story. However, with the lay off we have little incentive to stay in Wenatchee. So with that in mind we fasted and prayed today on what the next step should be. Also today, the stake president released Matthew of his calling in our ward as the Elder's Quorum President (he said it just felt like the right timing) and the Bishop (also feeling the Spirit before he knew about our situation) asked if I would speak in church next Sunday on overcoming adversity.

Now as I see it, we have here just too many seemingly aligned coincidences to go without notice. The one thing that has been perfectly clear through this weekend (although we are still sans any specific plans for the future) is that the Lord is intensely aware of our small lives and that He has a specific plan for them. Who knows if we are just supposed to be learning how to get by on less or what the process is for claiming unemployment. Or maybe we're supposed to see the Lord's hand as he prepares a wonderful temporary job that will lead him to bigger and better things in the future. That part of the plan has yet to be revealed. But for now, faith in the Lord's awareness and love are enough.

I can finally let my secret out

2010-01-14T19:46:00.000-08:00

And no, I'm not pregnant. Last summer Matt and I decided that although his current job here in the Wenatch is a good opportunity it isn't the direction he wants his career to take. So after, some soul searching, talking to good parents, and serious prayer, we decided the best course of action for Matthew to take is to head back for yet another graduate degree - this time an MBA. I always thought I'd kill Matt before I'd let him go back to school but everything so far has been falling into place and we both feel really good about the decision.
He did well on the GMAT, sent in his applications fairly early, and got a good response from his employer when we broke the news. He's applied to BYU, Penn State (no not Wharton), Michigan State, and MIT. I'm not not sure Matthew is leaning towards any particular school. They all have their pros and cons and I think Matt could go to any of them and feel perfectly happy with his choice. I'm just excited I can finally openly talk about it. It's been a major topic of conversation around our apartment for what seems like forever but since Wenatchee is a small town I was sworn to secrecy lest his employer find out before he was ready to commit to this endeavor.
But now that it's out, let me just say publicly that I hope and pray that when some new employer reviews his resume and sees Micro Biology undergrad, law school, patent license, and business school they don't think, crazy person who doesn't know what they want to do when they grow up but rather, this person is uniquely and perfectly qualified for just this position.
Wish us luck.

Weak Sauce

2010-01-13T19:31:00.000-08:00

I've realized over the last week that I am grateful for many things but my weak sauce sense of willpower is most definitely not one of them.

In December, like most people, I totally OD'ed on sugar so I decided I was going to give up sweets for the month of January. Yeah, I only made it 10 days before choking. Matthew said he was going to be good about supporting me, but kept talking about how great Apple Crisp would be. It didn't help that my resolve was already somewhat shaky at this point. But with the excuse that I was helping my husband more than hurting myself I gave in and made the dessert. It was really good too.

I'm also really bad about not reading the end of a book before I'm there by honest means. It's the reason I've never gotten into the mystery genre. I enjoy knowing the end of the beginning too much to be a good mystery reader. Sometimes, I'll even read ahead just to see if certain characters I like/dislike are still there further down the road. Sad, and almost offensive to some, I know.

Thus, because of this complete lack self-control, I am immensely grateful for two things. 1. That I don't have serious weight issues. I'm not sure I would be any good on a strict or even semi-strict diet; and 2. That I've grown up LDS and thus have never tried alcohol, coffee, tea, or tobacco. They pose no threat to me now, but who knows the troubles I'd see if I had to give them up today. Perish that thought.

Any way, I just felt the desire to fess up to my weak sauce willpower. If you are like me, just know you are not alone.

Hoping for a miracle

2009-12-31T09:40:00.000-08:00

We took a red-eye flight home from Hawaii yesterday. I mention that because it is my excuse for both Matthew and I leaving our iPods on the plane. In our sheer exhaustion we must have forgotten to completely check our surroundings (like good little fliers always do). I made sure to grab my $5 waterbottle, but somehow forgot my invaluable entertainment device. We didn't even think about them missing until late last night. So this morning I spent some quality time with Delta describing our lost goods. She mentioned mulitiple times that if, on the off chance they are found and turned in, Delta/ NW will give us the courtesy of calling and having them returned. Does that sound snotty? She was actually very nice. Anyway, I realize it's a long shot but we're praying for miracles right now.

Two weeks later - still haven't heard back from Delta so thanks to "Anonymous" who gave me the idea of calling my insurance agent. I didn't think they covered stuff like that but it's definitely worth a shot.

Families = Heaven?

2009-12-31T09:32:00.001-08:00

These last couple of weeks have been fabulous and slightly exhausting. Last weekend my siblings, parents, and I descended upon Denver to watch the blessed union of my little brother Paul and his adorable wife Breanne. (We are so excited to have her in the family.) While there for the weekend, I got the chance to spend quality time with my siblings, visit my grandmother's grave (I've never met her but the Spirit at her grave was beautiful), and meet and socialize with a large handful of my father's family. Sitting at a table at my brother's wedding reception surrounding by so many old and new loved ones, I was struck with such love for my family, both immediate and extended.

The next day I met Matthew in Seattle where we flew on to Hawaii to spend a week with his family who lives there. More family time and more love was exchanged. As we were sitting in the airport waiting for our flight home Matthew said he got a glimpse of heaven that week. Heaven must be made up of our best family moments - where everyone is happy and loving and having fun. Looking back at the week and the weekend previous to that, I would have to agree!

Perm

2009-12-12T20:12:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking of getting a perm. I've read they've come along way since the 80's. Any thoughts?

I Can't Keep it In, I've Gotta Let it Out

2009-12-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had one of those Fast Sundays you love to have. For those who may not be LDS, the first Sunday of each month, is designated as a fast day. You give up food and drink for twenty-four hours, give the money you would have paid for food to the poor, and instead devote your thoughts to drawing closer to God. Oh, and at church, instead of talks given from members of the congregation, the microphone is instead open to anyone who wishes to get up and voice their love of the Savior. I am often amazed at the trust the Bishop has in the members to pass over control like that. Thankfully, in the hundreds of fast and testimony meetings I've attended, the wackiness of testimonies has been kept to a minimum. Normally it is the best meeting of the month. So, with ants in my pants and the Spirit in my heart I jumped out of my seat as soon as I was able to share my love for the knowledge I have of my Savior and his gospel. I felt overwhelmed by the the love I had for everyone there. It was a mixture of joy and peace - I even quoted a famous Cat Stevens song - "Can't Keep it In." I felt so enthusiastic that I had to share it here. So there you have it. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I love it. And I love you, whoever you may be dear reader. Thanks for letting me share my joy with you.

Dance Team

2009-12-04T19:56:00.000-08:00

I work with a woman at the high school who's also the coach of the dance team. It's a small squad and the program is nothing like the team I was on in high school, but when I was asked to judge their tryouts, it brought back memories all the same. I felt slightly anxious about the prospect at first considering I was no great dancer in my day, but found I did okay once I got there.
It was fun seeing these cute and nervous girls perform a routine they had barely learned. I totally remember being in that position. Smiling so big hoping it would distract the judges from my less than stellar footwork. I couldn't help but smile back at the girls and love them for putting themselves out there.
The other moment of the evening that brought back a flood of memories was drill down. It's an odd component of the dance team competition that involves doing dancified military maneuvers (right face, left face, parade rest) with precision. If you move the wrong way or twitch at an inopportune time you are out. The last person standing wins. Despite having some trouble knowing my right from my left, drill down was probably my biggest strength as a dance teamer. So seeing these girls doing it that night brought back so many memories. Especially of the infamous dance team who would toot aka fart their way to victory as they startled and grossed the other dancers out. Ah dance team, what a lovely memory.
Any way, that is what I want to share. Thanks Marie for inviting me to be a part of it!

Crazy Girls Giving to Others

2009-11-12T08:46:00.000-08:00

I just had to post a picture of my most adorable of girls. Here they are arrayed in all of their funkiness. This was after an evening of delivering cookies and kind notes to people they thought would appreciate their wackiness and baked goods. Because, after all, everyone likes cookies (or at least they should) but who wouldn't like them so much better if they were delivered by these young ladies? I think the answer is clear.

Happy Birthday Sara

2009-11-09T15:41:00.001-08:00

I realize, it's probably not good form to write a post about yourself on your birthday, but that's okay - I'm not really into the social norm anyway. I wasn't going to actually but I told my father I had curled my hair to celebrate my birthday and he asked that I post a picture. So there I am in all my silly curly glory.

I found a blog through a friend of mine. The blog's writer stays at home with her children and does her hair in fabulous styles every day because, as she says, she needs some glamour in her life. I thought that was completely great so I decided that my birthday was as special occasion as any to do fun things with my mop - so there you have it.

I have gotten over my "Oh my word I'm 30 - what do I have to show for my life" drama. And now I am excited for the next decade of my life. My 30's are going to be great. I just know it.

But today I wanted to celebrate my birthday with yet another list of things I'm grateful for. So here's my list:

Solid heavenly help. Seriously, miracles were requested and miracles were delivered.
A good body, that while it doesn't get pregnant like it should, does everything else pretty marvelously. I really can't or shouldn't complain.
Beautiful drives through mountain passes. I mean really, how much more gorgeous can nature get than when you're surrounded by glorious trees? Can you tell I spent my formative years in Western Oregon?
My Gear Up kids. They just may be my favorite people in Wenatchee - along with my cute Young Women. I love them all individually and will miss them when they all graduate or I move, whichever comes first.
Opportunities for spiritual, emotional, and intellectual growth. Knowing where I was, where I am, and where I just might end up and being amazed by the changes.
The cute woman at the restaurant this morning who overheard it was my birthday and randomly gave me a ginormous cinnamon roll as we were leaving. People really can be so wonderful!
The color red. I love wearing it and I love decorating with it.

So I think that's about it. I lead a wonderful life and, like you, wouldn't trade anything I have or don't have for the world. I love you all!!

I love Wenatchee and Alex Degrassi

2009-11-05T23:00:00.000-08:00

Tonight, Matthew and I went to see Alex Degrassi in concert. The concert was absolutely wonderful! Alex Degrassi is a new age acoustic guitarist - one of Matthew's favorites, who tends to be somewhat experimental in his playing. Really it was amazing. But what I really loved about the concert was this feeling of love I had sitting amongst my fellow Wenatchens. It was fun to sit next to them experiencing this fabulous artist together. Feeling as if we now had a bond because of this night.
I also loved being able to experience it without the struggle of big city traffic, parking, or ticket fees. Now granted, Wenatchee doesn't attract huge headliner acts, but for someone as unsophisticated (and cheap) as me, I don't mind. I just love living in a small enough community where, when acts I love do come to town, I can walk to go see them. There is just something so idyllic about it to me. And that is why I love Wenatchee.

Make a Difference Day

2009-10-24T15:08:00.000-07:00

Wenatchee, like many other communities in the United States, participates in the annual "Make a Difference Day." The youth from my church decided they wanted to pump gas for breast cancer. So they made shirts and signs and tried to look their cutest (as you can see in the above pictures) as they approached wary motorists and asked if they could assist in pumping their gas and washing their windshields for donations. One man actually gave them a $50 bill and told the story of his wife who died from breast cancer.

They broke into teams and at the end of 2 hours they made $300+. Not bad I'd say. What was odd was that the group of all girls collected about 75% of the donations irking the other team with the token boy. I told him blond hair girls will always get more donations than boys. It's just the nature of the game. I'm not sure he was really satisfied but such is life. I'm just proud of these cute kids who braved a cold Saturday morning for a cause completely outside themselves.

Sudoku - Fun Past Time or All Consuming Addiction?

2009-10-19T07:43:00.001-07:00

It's a good thing I firmly believe in moderation in all things. It's an even better thing I don't go into the hard stuff like coffee, alcohol or cigarettes. It's a good thing because I think I just may have an addictive personality - especially when it comes to puzzles. So far over the years I have found myself becoming obsessed with mine sweeper, word twist, spider solitaire, mahjong, bejeweled, hexic, word fill-it-ins, and now sudoku. A little silly don't you think?

I have no cross stitching or quilting project to keep me busy in my free time and I am in between books so I find myself filling spare moments and spare hours with sudoku. Matthew looks at me with a questioning "You're doing ANOTHER one?" look clearly etched on his face. He says he's fascinated by my zeal but I can tell he's worried. I find myself going to bed with numbers and sequences running around in my head. I can't seem to clear it enough to doze off properly.

I think it's finally getting to the same point as all my prior obsessions. The point where I know the only way to clear the addiction is to cut myself off cold turkey for a month or so. Just until I can come back and play objectively once again. When I can complete one puzzle and be done with it instead of doing five or six. Wish me luck.

Random Musings about Pregnancy and My Life Sans Children

2009-10-08T09:49:00.000-07:00

I might have mentioned this before, but sometimes I have to keep myself from reading friends' blogs for fear of becoming despondent with my jealousy of their little feet pitter-pattered lives. In those times, I catch Matthew watching me, sometimes out of the corner of his eyes, sometimes openly staring; I think to catch the first signs of my unraveling. Somehow I find it comforting to know he's on guard.

Anyway, this morning is not one of those times. This morning, as I find myself yet again, unpregnant I am filled with gratitude for this time of life. As my sister says, I really do lead a charmed existence. Yesterday I worked and then took off for an hour bike ride in the glorious fall weather. This morning I sat in bed after Matthew left for work and finished a lovely book (The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society written all in correspondence style which is probably why I feel so reflective today). I'm hoping to finally get enough motivation to work today but feel no real compulsion to do anything worthwhile. It's actually kind of nice. Nice to have the feeling and even nicer to be able to actualize it. I'm sitting here in my PJs and bed head at 10am with the sun streaming in the window and I am at peace with the world. It's a wonderful feeling.

But that said, just in case anyone is wondering, it's been a solid two and a half years since Matthew and I have officially started "trying" for children. We obviously haven't been successful and for whatever reason right now I don't feel right about furthering infertility treatments. So we wait. I'll be 30 in another month so I wonder how long the Lord is going to have me in this odd sort of holding pattern but for now it's okay. I'm learning and growing and hopefully building the necessary muscles in my calves, thighs, shoulders and bottom to make long rides more enjoyable.

Clue

2009-10-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

I am an unwitting master at the game of Clue. You can ask my husband or any of the very few people we've had over to play games. They look at our closet full of games see that one, reminiscent of their childhoods, and want to play. Even when I mention I have won an inordinate amount of rounds they still maintain their desire. If nothing else it enhances their resolve to prove me wrong. Even Matthew's father, who has a complete Clue strategy falls prey to my crazy luck. I don't have any strategy to speak of, but somehow luck favors me in such games. Any other game, like Boggle, Uno, Monopoly, or any other game that involves any skill inexplicably belong to Matthew, but Clue is mine. Anyone want to play?

Victim

2009-09-22T10:41:00.001-07:00

Today I join the ranks of credit card fraud victims. I was checking my credit card statement online and noticed a $8,000 charge to some record store based in Denver. Hmmm . . . I know I make no such purchase and I'm pretty sure Matthew would have told me if he had laid out such sums of money. So I called my credit card company and have them on the case. That part of the circumstance is kind of cool, especially in light of my new found Colombo ardor (thank you Netflix online). I imagine some analyst (that's who they said is working on my case) doing the serious investigating only to come up with an airtight case involving a heated confrontation with the culprit where he/she lays out the motive and modus operandi to be followed by a tearful confession.

The part of the circumstance that isn't so cool is knowing I'm vulnerable. Do I distrust the web or my fellow Wenatchens? Who's to blame? I complete a lot of online transactions so I really hope it's not the web, but at the same time, I like feeling safe and secure in the Wenatch and don't really want to give up my trust in my cute town either. I'm hoping I get some sort of information one way or another so I can pick up the pieces of my broken confidence and start rebuilding a stronger more secure heart. (What a pitiable picture)

Few weeks later - I am happy to say the credit card fraud has been expunged from my bill. Not to have to pay $8k for someone else's crime makes me thrilled. Although, almost in the same breath, I am sad to say I didn't get any sense of Colombo-esque justice. When I called my bank to ask what the final verdict was they said they had know idea who it was or how they might have gotten my number. The best advice they can offer is to make sure to watch my monthly statements. It's not remotely satisfying but I guess that's okay. I now have a new card with a new number that is hopefully not as yet known to any potential fraudsters.

Sara's First Fall and Other Biking Thoughts

2009-09-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

For my birthday and Christmas Matt and his parent's let me buy a road bike (with fancy shoes for the fancy pedals). This is a picture of me in front of my oh so adorable tan apartment building looking sort of enthusiastic to be photographed with my new bike. In all actuality I was really excited and even asked Matthew to take the picture for me, but some how that enthusiasm isn't showing through.

It's been fun to ride around on and feel semi cool in the process. I say semi cool because, over the last year, as I've walked and ridden around town I've noticed an interesting trend. People who walk almost always smile and say hello to passersby. But people who ride generally fall onto a spectrum from casual riders on their cruiser bikes to avid cyclers on their fancy road bikes. The former group generally includes cute old couples and parents with their children. They range in levels of fitness but are really out for a good time. They, like the walkers, almost always say hello.

The other end of the spectrum is then the avid cyclers who can be found wearing the latest in cycling gear - spandex, of course, as well as some cycling jersey, generally of their favorite cycling team. This group almost never says hello. I've had some funny guesses as to why that might be. Could it be they are so intent on being taken seriously that they want to promote a aura of "coolness?" Are they afraid they might be recognized in all of their spandex glory and so take on the 3-year old notion that if I can't see you you can't see me? Are they really that focused on the pavement in front of them so they don't slip and fall? Anyway, I've noticed a trend that where a person falls on the spectrum will generally dictate the likelihood of that person waving and acknowledging others around them.

I must say that I do have some spandex shorts (they are actually under my pants in the picture above) but I don't as of yet have a cycling jersey, which I am okay not to own. It means that I can't be mistaken for an avid cycler and thus fall into the group which doesn't interact with their community. I went for a ride yesterday and felt an odd sense of smugness as I smiled, waved and said hello to my fellow Wenatchens, feeling myself somehow above the spectrum I have heretofore described. I can ride my fancy new bike with my fancy new pedals and not take myself seriously.

Case in point (sorry this is getting kind of long). Today I was stopped at a stop light on my way home from a ride. When the light turned green I started to pedal, but couldn't clip into my pedal quickly enough to maintain my momentum and thus fell over. I have been paranoid about falling ever since getting my bike and now I had done it. I was glad it actually hurt a lot less than I thought it would, though that may be because I simply tipped over instead of falling with any real force. As I lay there trying to get from under the bicycle I noticed one other car at the stop light, who was, I'm sure partially amused and partially concerned for my well being. I got up, waved to let them know I was okay, and walked my bike across the street to where I could try getting back onto my bike. But the whole time, I couldn't help but be completely entertained by my own fall. No bruised ego and thankfully no bruised body, just "silly Sara, well at least you gave someone something to chuckle at."

So there it is, I'm excited for my fancy new bicycle and I'm excited to feel cool while still maintaining both a sense of humor and a sense of community.

Funny Craft Attempt

2009-08-29T19:45:00.001-07:00

Two things I've had for a while - These candle sticks my mother bought for me years ago, and a candle making book I bought while I was still living and loving in Portland. Matthew even bought me a bunch of the supplies I needed for Christmas. But with all of that, it wasn't until today that I finally took them out and decided to try my hand at hot wax.
It all started nicely enough. I melted my wax, primed my wick, added what I thought was enough green coloring, and got everything set to make my very own tapered candles. The problems started when I actually started dipping. I couldn't figure out why my candles weren't getting any thicker despite my best efforts. I did a little more research, tried some other tactics but finally gave up on having anything other than unpretty but fully functional candles.
I don't know if you can tell, but they don't look anything like the pretty pictures in my book. But they were funny so I just had to take a picture and show my "I made that" creations. Maybe I should stick with the less tricky version of melting wax and pouring it in a glass. I think I could be successful at that.

Everyone Gets to Play

2009-08-23T20:33:00.000-07:00

I have often said that we all have unique abilities and experiences that allow us to help others in ways perfect for them. I might not be able to be all things to all people, but just maybe I am able to offer something to someone that no one else can. This was brought home today when I was out visiting teaching. I visit this wonderful woman I love and adore who is struggling through all the agony that accompanies a divorce. She knows I love her, and although I have my own issues that allow me to sympathize with the pain she is experiencing, I don't and hope to never know what it is like to go through a divorce. But my companion I was assigned has. And today I was privileged to witness one person being able to empathize with another in a very intimate and healing way. It was beautiful to see the Lord's hand in action as He put this special sister in contact with the other to help her through her pain. I wish I could put more eloquently the wonder of what I saw, but whoever is reading this, please know you matter intensely to someone else. No one can be the you, you are meant to be.