Phillip's Funeral

 Yesterday we celebrated Phillip's life, but before I get to that . . .

We have had the most epic ice storm the last two days that brought down trees, interrupted power, cancelled Stake Conference, and wreaked havoc on travel. It has been crazy. Poor Natalie and her kids had such trouble getting here, most especially Parker who spent almost 24 hours en route by himself on his birthday. But we are here together and I pray that being together is providing needed healing for our two families. Today and really this weekend has been an exercise in being flexible, adapting, and moving to alternate plans. But everyone seems to be handling it as gracefully as possible.

The funeral was lovely. Family only with a zoom attendance. Two Air Force airmen came and presented Natalie and her kids with their own US flags in full military honors and played taps. It was incredibly emotional. Natalie and the kids then took turns speaking of their husband and father. Natalie's was long but perfect. After the formal remarks were over we adjourned to dinner where the siblings and parents got to share our favorite experiences of Phillip. There was a lot of laughing, and again, just perfect.

My childhood memories of my brother include proudly telling friends my brother was from the Philippines because his name is Phillip. (This most likely due to having a friend named Virginia who lived in Virginia blowing my 5-year old mind). I also remember him and his neon suit he would wear to church, always having candy in his pockets, and thinking he was so handsome. 

As an adult, I have loved having Phillip living locally for the last six months. I was only 9 when he moved out and we were never close. Having him be local, meant getting to appreciate him and his odd way of rolling dice, loving all things children, knowing all the words to ALL the 80's songs, serving, and loving my soft pretzels. I am grateful that he got to know my family and finally see me as an adult. 

There was one time Matthew and I needed a babysitter. I flippantly asked Phillip, and he surprised me with a yes. Later Matthew confessed he didn't feel right about leaving the kids with him. Surely he only said ok because he was put on the spot and he really didn't want to. So we found someone else. Later Phillip confessed that he felt a bit slighted. My children were initially tentative around him and his outwardly gruff exterior, but after Chewkie got her braces she said, "Uncle Phillip and I are brace buddies". They loved him even though he still sort of scared them.

Today, Stake Conference was cancelled due to the issues with power outages, so with no official church we opted to do a family testimony meeting at my house. We had a lovely meeting followed by lunch, games, and playing. I'm pretty sure the kids were in heaven playing with cousins. They had been hoping for a valentines day party and they for sure got it. I love my darling family and it was good to have the reminder this weekend, even the midst of such a tragedy. I think Phillip would have wanted that for all of us.

The Errand of Angels

Last weekend, my brother Phillip died. He was 51 years old. It was such a sudden jarring to my family's world from which we are still reeling. But that is not what I want to dedicate this particular post to. This morning, as I was reading my scriptures I was focusing on Doctrine and Covenants 13:1 wherein the Aaronic Priesthood is given keys to the ministering of angels among other important keys and duties. The accompanying scriptures relating to the ministry of angels had me singing the hymn we sing in Relief Society (one I used to abhor) about the errand of angels being given to women.

The errand of angels is given to women; And this is a gift that, as sisters, we claim; To do whatsoever is gentle and human, To cheer and to bless in humanity's name.

Now the ministry of angels is to cry repentance and speak of Christ but it also includes doing as Christ would do for which women just seem to have a natural propensity. I am overwhelmed this morning at the amazing number of women in my life who have visited with flowers or just their love; offered food for my family or just a listening ear; have reached out even though they may not know me very well and offered their condolences.  

My parents live in our ward and so the Relief Society has often contacted me for advice on what they can do for my mother. My mother, falsely claiming she is selfish, doesn't want to accept any help. She can feed herself, she just wants to be left alone. And she's right. She can feed herself, but there is something so spiritual about connecting with another person and accepting the love they wish to offer. There is divinity in just that moment of offering and receiving. We come closer to showing and receiving the same love the Savior offers us every moment of every day. And if that isn't the errand of angels I don't know what is. 

So thank you everyone who has brought me closer to my Savior this week with your acts of Christ-like service, no matter how small you think they might be. Please know I have seen the Savior more clearly because of you.

Phillip's obituary

 

Phillip

SEPTEMBER 12, 1969 – FEBRUARY 6, 2021

Growing up as a military dependent, he had the opportunity to live all over the United States. From California to Virginia and a few places in between, he always found a way to fit in no matter where his family called home. He was spontaneous and outgoing and easily made friends. He loved the beach and surfing and was an avid soccer player. He loved dancing and music and knew all the words to almost every song he had ever heard. Those who knew him well knew that he was quite the jokester. His laugh was truly contagious. He was sensitive and quite the softie, and loved cheesy, romantic comedies. Phillip had a big heart and his love language was serving others. He was an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

He graduated from Lake Braddock High in Burke, Virginia in1988 before moving to Richlands, North Carolina with his family to attend Coastal Carolina Community College. He joined the United States Air Force in 1990. He served as a Firefighter for 8 years at duty stations located in North Carolina, Guam, and Texas. Over the next 17 years, his career as a Civil Service Firefighter took him and his family to Texas, North Carolina, and Virginia. While serving on Quantico Marine Corps Base, a terrible car accident prematurely ended his career.

More than anything else, Phillip loved his wife and children. He was present at every dance recital, school play, and sporting event. If it was important to his family, it was important to him. Being a dad brought him the most joy; he loved each of his five children and made sure that they knew that. He was proud of them and what they had accomplished, and was so excited to see what they would accomplish in the future.

Phillip is survived by his wife, Natalie, and their five children, Parker, Conner, Caitrin, Madalyn, and Brenner.

He is also survived by: his parents, Skip and Emma, and his seven siblings and their spouses, Josh and Merillee, Nichole and Lloyd, Melissa and John, Jared and Charlotte, Sara and Matthew, Megan, and Paul and Bre; his father-in-law, Tony, and brother and sister-in-law’s, Nicole and Stephen and Robert and Jessica; twenty-nine nieces and nephews, one great-niece, and many friends he considered family.