Christmas 2020

We went big this year. We normally don't spend a ton on Christmas presents but when I recently did a rough calculation and realized my poor children have spent over 95% of their lives in their own home over the nine and half months with 90%ish of their awake hours at home with the same 4 people it made me want to make Christmas a big deal.

I have loved that after nine and a half months of forced together time we are a closer, happier family. I was reminded of my prompting from a year and a half ago that change was coming but that we would be better for it. I felt the fruition of that promise today as I realized there is no one I'd rather be stuck with than these three. They are my people and I am so eternally grateful to call them mine.

Sewing Projects

A quilt made for the granddaughter of one of my aunts.

A quilt made for the sister of a dear college friend who was going through radiation treatment.

There were many masks made this summer. Here are a few of the ones made for the kids. Many have since been lost. Sigh.

A quilt for a dear college roommate. I don't think I have ever put on so many borders. This quilt was so popular that a former co-worker of mine from Switzerland also ordered one.

Matthew liked the other one I made he wanted one of his own to hang on the wall for a cool zoom backdrop.

Baby quilt I made for a dear friend having a very LONG awaited baby #2.

T-shirt quilt I made for a former seminary student.

Wool quilt I made for Matthew's aunt.

 Some of the quilts (and masks) I've worked on this year. These have been such a saving grace to my sanity. I especially loved that so often the day I shipped off quilts to their owners fabric for the next quilt arrived in the mail. 

So many times when I have felt overwhelmed by life the answer to my prayers for help has been to sew. Creative outlets seem to have a calming and balancing power in my life. Oh how grateful I am to have discovered it so many years ago. It has blessed me so much.

The Casts Come Off

 This little girl has been looking forward to that bubble bath for the last month. She finally got it. We decided to make a family day of going to Portland for her cast removal day. After we got them off and her new braces on we went out for crab sushi, then to the mall where Chewkie got fitted for new shoes (turns out they will be two sizes bigger than she would normally wear), and Doodah got a new lego set. We were supposed to get our Christmas tree as well, but wouldn't you know, Christmas tree farms aren't open on Monday's. Ah well. I guess that will have to wait until Saturday.

Chewkie was unhappy with how skinny and scaly her legs looked and was very wobbly for the first couple of hours but she seems to be doing better now (especially after a good scrub in the tub).

I should also give a shoutout to Doodah who was a super champ today - especially since he had to be in the car for most of the it. His only chance to get out between 9 and 2:30 was to go into Moonstruck to help pick out chocolates for everyone and at the mall. He was pretty carsick by the end but I could hardly blame him.

I love my children.

Give Thanks Day 9

In my continuation of #givethanks coupled with #lighttheworld I wanted to thank the women of my ward in State College (pictured here below) but along with so very many other women who overwhelmed me on so many occasions with their love and service. I did a few years of being the infertile woman. When I moved to State College I was welcomed in and for the first time in my life I felt like I had found "my people". I went through IVF and the successive pregnancy in that ward. I had many families fasting and praying for me. I had women crying out of joy when I told them I was pregnant. I was given the most lavish and well attended baby shower with the most amazing gifts. It is now many years since that time, but I want all the women in my life from State College to know that your service, your love, and your friendship still bring to me tears when I think about those magical few years I had the honor of spending with you. Thank you for lighting my life.

Give Thanks Day 8

From Matthew: Today I'm grateful I didn't fall off my roof and die as I put up Christmas lights. I typically don't do things like that but this year needed brightening, so I did it. I'd show a picture but I didn't take one and I was so cold after finishing I decided to quick hop in the shower and now I don't want to go outside. I'll get one later. Besides, a picture would probably just be a humblebrag anyway and in your mind you'll be thinking: "Mine are better." Let's let our collective imaginations wonder what I have and how they might compare, and just be glad I didn't do a swan dive off the roof.

#GiveThanks

Sara edit: I am so thankful for Matthew being willing to put up these lights that make me feel as if we are doing out part to light the little part of the world we live in. And I'm grateful for the #GiveThanks initiative our Church encouraged because it did just what our prophet promised it would do, it healed Matthew's heart and gave him the desire to up our Christmas game this year.

Give Thanks Day 7 - Thanksgiving

 

One of the purposes of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is to enable me to have joy. Joy that comes from peace of conscience as I repent of my sins. Joy that comes from hope in the world to come. Joy from overcoming weakness. Joy that comes in comfort from sorrow. Joy that comes from seeing the Lord's hand in my life as I turn my will to Him. Today I want to proclaim my gratitude for the many facets of Christ's atoning sacrifice for me.

From Matthew: With Thanksgiving, obviously family is an easy one to be grateful for, but I've sort of done that already this week. I've also done food items but again, today is a great day for that too. Particularly pie. I like pie. In an attempt to broaden my thankful horizons, I want to thank those who, over many years, have helped me hone a hobby of writing. There have been a few editors, and most particularly Lauren Miles, who has fantastic taste. My wife has been a constant champion and continues to believe there's a future for things I've written. But I suppose what I'm most grateful for is the imagination that I was blessed with, and being woken up in the middle of the night with a good idea. My wife commented that in my books the bad guys lose and the good guys fall in love. She's right. I like happy endings and when things work out. I'm grateful for the belief that for each of us, whether we know it or not, believe it or not, and have no clue when it will, things will work out.

Chess Club

 

One of the bright spots this year for this sweet boy has been chess club. He lives for this club. And let me tell you, figuring out how to teach chess to 8-year olds remotely was a feat for those brave teachers. But Dude has loved his time playing chess with classmates even if it means it has to be done virtually.

I am so thankful for their teachers, but I am also so thankful for the additional resource teachers willing to do small groups like this one that are the highlights of my children's weeks.

Give Thanks Day Day 6

Today I am grateful for that moment, that hopefully all parents experience, when your love for your children evolves to respect for the unique and amazing individuals they have been loaned for a few years. That moment when you realize they may look like you or have some of your mannerisms but the essence to their beings is something completely their own. That moment when you see them and all of their talents and you wish you could be more like them. I am grateful for that moment.
 

From Matthew: People have asked me many times why I like the rainy Northwest weather, and I really don't have a great answer except that it's where I grew up and even though the sun is mostly obscured for a good portion of the year, there is so much green and fresh air I feel like it's worth it. I'm sure everyone likes their own version of "home" but the Northwest is mine, rain, clouds, grey and all.

Give Thanks Day 5

 

This Spring, BYU magazine included an article entitled, "When Women Don't Speak". The article mentions that when women are kind and caring they aren't taken seriously but when they lead, disagree feely, are assertive, or speak out their likeability suffers. Well, I am getting better at being kind and caring but I have never been at a loss for being assertive or disagreeing freely. And although I may not always be liked for it, I am generally too obtuse to care or even notice. I owe my gratitude today to my parents who always taught me to speak up, gave me space for my opinion, and modeled the kind of environment where women speak and make positive differences. Thank you for raising four VERY strong daughters and four sons who appreciate the strength in their wives.

From Matthew: It's 7:52 and I just finished work for the day. They aren't all this long and I feel like I've been Zoomed nearly to death, but I'm grateful for work, for colleagues that I get to work with and that slowly (sometimes incredibly, painfully, agonizingly slowly), we make progress. I work in a unique industry at a time in the US when infrastructure projects are difficult, expensive, and cause a lot of angst, but I'm grateful for the struggle and patience it teaches me. I don't always feel grateful about work, but when I do, I don't mind admitting it.

Give Thanks Day 4

Sometimes in our lives the Savior will make our weaknesses strengths. And sometimes He will send someone else to be the strength for our weakness. (Think of God sending Aaron to speak for Moses.) Well this man is my strength. And in some ways I am his. Today, while I am grateful for my dear sweet husband, I am also grateful for marriage and its ability to make weak things strong as well as to be the strength for weaknesses.

From Matthew: Today I am grateful for Cinnabon and Vanilla Coke. I can't think of an unhealthier breakfast though I hope there are and I haven't hit rock bottom. Nothing else seems as fortifying though for a four-hour marathon of zoom calls and subsequent additional hours of work. I'll toss in a nod to Taco Del Mar too. Been a bad day health-wise, a great day taste-wise. Tomorrow I'll probably be grateful for my Pelaton that keeps me from keeling over because of a bad diet.

Give Thanks Day 3

Today I am grateful to have been able to teach seminary over the years. High school was a pretty dismal few years for me and somehow I feel Heavenly Father is trying to make up for it by giving me wonderful teenagers to know and love now.

From Matthew: I'm grateful for the freedom to practice my religion, and even more so for the technology that enables me to listen to leaders and fellow members via the internet. With COVID, so many things have been interrupted, but technology has enabled me to work from home and worship from home. I hope that's true for others as well.

Bathing Our Chewkie

We aren't supposed to get Chewkie's casts wet. We were told that putting bags on them was useless and that sponge baths were her best option. I tried that once. It was tedious and cold for my little one. Washing her hair was even worse. She ended up a dirty, greasy little girl until we got creative. I was pretty proud of myself when we figured out this little work around. And she was happy to be able to lay in the bath all on her own.

Look at those yucky casts. Only a week and a half until we move on to phase 2 of the recovery process.

Give Thanks Day 2

 

Today I give thanks for sewing projects. So many times when I have felt overwhelmed by life the answer to my prayers for help has been to sew. Creative outlets seem to have a calming and balancing power in my life. Grateful I discovered it so many years ago. It has blessed me so much.

From Matthew: I don't recall the last time that I posted, but acting on the prescription and invitation of my spiritual leader to "flood social media with thanks" I wanted to express my gratitude for my family. I recently was away on business and each morning and night, my daughter and/or my son would call to share what's going on in their day and what they were excited about. They were ecstatic when I got home, and what can be better than returning home to find people who love, care, and appreciate you? I'm thankful for my family, I'm thankful for family that I haven't heard from in years but can reconnect instantly with. I'm grateful that I can improve my relationships with family endlessly, with effort and attention. Most of all, I'm grateful for my wife who has been by my side for 14 years now, and I look forward to many more.

#GiveThanks

Today the prophet of my church - President Russell M. Nelson challenged us to flood social media for the next week with gratitude. Matthew and I have taken this challenge seriously and so for the next few days I will be posting the items that made it into our social media accounts.

I finally finished listening to Little Women. After watching the three most recent versions I had renewed vigor to finish. I'll post a more detailed review later but sufficeth to say today I am grateful to not have been born in the 19th century. I NEVER would have survived emotionally, mentally, or physically.

Halloween 2020

 

Today the families with young children in our cul-de-sac made up activities for the kids to do during our afternoon Halloween party. It was super low-key but I think the kids still enjoyed it. Doodah and Chewkie put candy in bags that I hid around the cul-de-sac (think of easter egg hunt but with ziploc bags instead of eggs). We also tried having the kids eat caramel popcorn balls off a string but only my children were willing to do that. Another family made small ghost cups filled with candy while someone else had pizza and coloring. Everyone brought candy or treats of some sort and everyone took turns pushing Chewkie around in the wheelchair my parents leant us.

Doodah was still a bit disappointed at not being able to go trick or treating so I gave him the job of coming up with some other options to make it better. He decided to put candy in every door at which he and his sister trick or treated (completed with saying the words, "Trick or treat" and "Thank you! Happy Halloween!"). I was surprised that he was okay with this kind of option, but I think being able to put more candy in his bag was all he really cared about. 

His other activity was hiding candy in a cup and then playing Three Cup Monte. Everyone took a turn making everyone else guess. Good family together time. After dinner we pulled our pumpkins inside our house, lit them up and then watched a Halloween movie by pumpkin light. 

Even without the hours of trick or treating, I think it was still a good Halloween.

P.S. The kids pictured above weren't all the ones there, but they were the only ones around at picture time. Note Chewkie holding onto the toddler to get him to stay in the shot.

Also note that I gave Doodah my camera to get a picture of the moms. Thank you my son who thought he had gotten 5 or 6 pictures but really only managed this highly unflattering one.

Chewkie Gets Surgery

Today my sweet daughter had surgery to lengthen her Achilles tendons on both her ankles today. She was so great on the way up (at 5am), groggy and cranky on the way home, peppy as she played with her LOL glamping van she got as a surgery gift, and then so sad at bedtime as the reality of what the next month + looks like for her set in. I think there were a lot of tired emotions thrown in for good measure but I don't blame her for wishing the recovery away. Poor little dear. 

Walking was hard for her today as she was working on retraining her center of gravity and trying to heft the extra weight on her legs. I had to hold her up for the most part or Matthew and I carried her. At one point after dinner at my parents she attempted walking all on her own. We were all so proud of her. 

I am so grateful that Chewkie is such a plucky, optimistic little girl. This will be a trying experience for her but I know she will make the best of it. I am also grateful for the inspiration to buy fun surgery gifts for both the kids today (Doodah got an electronic golf ball he can steer with his tablet).

P.S. For the record, Chewkie opted for surgery on the day before Halloween. I suspect she wanted to show off her new casts to her friends, but she also claimed to want to get it done and over with as soon as possible.

Pumpkin Carving 2020

 Chewkie, Matthew, Mine, and Doodah

I really love the kids cleaning, designing and now, even cutting their own pumpkins by themselves. I also really love the joy they find in their creations. 

Chewkie was working towards a minecraft pumpkin and Doodah will always love doing angry faces.

Halloween Costumes 2020

Normally I am super lazy and cheap with Halloween costumes. Surely they can just come up with something out of our costume box right or maybe I can sew them something? Well this year, I took some time with each child and we scoured Amazon looking for the perfect costume. Doodah eventually came up with a ninja and Chewkie could not be talked out of being a hotdog. In the past she's been a princess, a minion, a butterfly, but this year she had her heart set on being a hotdog. And really would YOU want to talk her out of that joy?

Edit to add: Both kids have worn their costumes nonstop since they arrived. Purchased costumes for the win-win.

Heron House

Last month, with the smoke wreaking havoc on our air quality, I was in a desperate emotional state. After crying for sometime, I prayed for relief and got the answer to plan a girls' weekend at the coast. With Matthew's enthusiastic support I texted a few ladies and asked if they would be willing to join me. 

Fast forward to this weekend. After a lot of searching for just the perfect location we found it. This lovely house on the end of the road looking out over the Siletz River that feeds into the Pacific Ocean. Everything about this house and it's location whispered peace. 

There was brief talk of going for a hike or shopping since the weather was so lovely, but it all got drowned out by the desire to just sit, look at the river, and chat. We talked about a whole host of subjects, all of which were so uplifting. Each woman expressed their gratitude for my planning this and I expressed gratitude to my Heavenly Father for giving me the inspiration in a very sad and desperate moment to plan something that would be so beneficial to all of us.

Chewkie needs surgery

When I took Chewkie in for her most recent annual doctor's appointment her doctor and I talked about sending her to a specialist to check out her toe walking issues. We ended up going to Portland's Doernbecher Children's hospital to see an Orthopedic Surgeon. Matthew had to go into the office so I took Chewkie up by myself. Doodah went to my parent's house. I'm pretty sure he LOVED being there without his sister.

Well, we met with the specialist who pretty quickly told us Chewkie needs a simple surgery followed by a very LONG recovery period. One month in double leg casts, 3 months of 24/7 braces, 3 months of braces worn at night, and another 6 months until she's back to her regular bouncy self. That's intense and it left me feeling like surely there must be something else we should try and surely he just said that because he's a surgeon and surgery is what they do best. it was all I could do to hold myself together until I could get us back to the car.

I called her PCP as soon as I could to get his take on the whole scenario. While I was waiting for him to return my call, I talked to my mom, my sister, and I called Matthew (though I never actually got to talk to him). Somehow between the phone calls, I missed the call from her PCP. I was so angry at myself even though he must have gone straight to voicemail.

I got home, did some research on her diagnosis, talked to Matthew some more and felt resigned to surgery for Chewkie. This evening her PCP finally got a chance to call me back and I realized the tender mercy of missing his earlier phone call. Over his lunch (after his initial voicemail) he talked to the specialist and got more insight on the diagnosis. Chewkie's condition is congenital and would not have been fixed by earlier intervention. He also told me that, although the recovery is severe, we probably would get the same answer from another pediatric orthopedist. It was the final answer to affirm what I had already been feeling, but now no one has to feel guilty for not noticing it sooner.

1. Today I am grateful I missed the initial phone call from Chewkie's PCP even if it caused me to be angry at myself for some time.
2. I am grateful for some alone time with my unbearably adorable daughter.
3. I am grateful for the peace in what comes next for my sweet daughter.

Finally, a picture of Chewkie in her paper pants that made her so very happy. She asked and they agreed to let her take them home. The simple joys in a young girl's life.

P.S. This is how Adelae stands on her feet almost all the time.

 

I have a thing for 4-leaf clovers. To me, every one I find is a declaration of love from my Heavenly Father. Today as I was weeding my front yard I found these four wee lovelies. The one with the gimpy 4th leaf may be my absolute favorite one I have ever found. And they might have been exactly what I needed today. Because life is hard and I needed a tangible reminder that Heavenly Father is aware of me. Distance learning is fine. My life is fine. There is nothing in particular to complain about and yet . . . life is just . . . hard. So thanks Heavenly Father for four 4-leaf clovers, each one tenderly saying, "I'm aware of you. I'm aware of you. I'm aware of you. I'm aware of you."

Our Inaugural Fire

 

 

We worked so hard to finish our new patio by Labor Day so we could have initiate our fire pit with my sister's family, but since we were on high alert for fire danger, and the smoke was already rolling in, we waited as patiently as we could for the first opportunity to light it up. 

We had a crazy thunder and lightening rain storm Thursday night and into Friday so we now have clean air once again! Hallelujah! To celebrate being able to go outside again, the kids and I walked the long way to my parents house jumping in EVERY puddle, especially the muddy ones. They kept losing their shoes claimed by the persistent, deep mud, but after two weeks of being stuck inside I couldn't deny them that childhood joy, even if it meant wiping them down before they went inside. Everyone seems happier.

Today we continued our celebration with our first backyard fire and smore roasting. It was such a beautiful autumn day in Oregon and I am so happy to have our air and our backyard back again!

Halloween Crafting

 

We are safe from the fires but the smoke makes it virtually impossible to leave the house. Did I mention that we had lots of fun things planned for this week? It was supposed to be the last week of summer awesomeness. We were going to basically spend the week in swimsuits at Aumsville Pond, Buell Creek Park, and the beach. 

But since we are stuck inside we've had to get really creative. It's the beginning of September but we decided to do our Halloween craft early. I let the kids pick out a Halloween image that I cut out on my silhouette to use as a stencil. It was A LOT of prep work for about 15 minutes of painting but the kids were happy with their final product so everyone was happy.

The Apocalyptic Day

 

This morning I woke up at my normal time but I was sure my clock was wrong and it was still the middle of the night. When I finally got a chance to look outside it was eerily orange, almost like we had somehow been teleported to what I think Mars must look like. 

The air quality is apocalyptic right now due to nearby forest fires and high winds pushing the smoke towards us. as a result we did not go to the beach today or any other outdoor activities. I'm trying to make this a fun week for the kids so this morning we brainstormed some ideas. We ended up deciding on driving up to Portland to get Chick-Fil-A for lunch and Krispy Kreme donuts for dessert. The air quality was great in Portland but on our way home it looked like we were driving into an orange wall. 

By 5pm it felt like 8pm and by 6 it felt like 10. If it weren't so dangerous for so many people and so awful for everyone's health it would be really cool.

Coronavirus Pluses

Last summer I woke up in the middle of the night with the thought: "Be prepared; things are going to start happening. It's going to be ok. Your family will be better for it and you will know that I am aware and actively engaged in your lives. I have had other experiences (a few months before I met Matthew and again a few months before I started finding out about all the things keeping me from getting pregnant) with waking up in the middle of the night with very distinct promptings so while I wasn't quite sure what to make of this thought, I had a history of seeing them happen in pretty amazing ways.

But then nothing happened. At least not that I could discern. I took my concern to the Lord in December but the answer was the same: just wait and be prepared for change. And now over a year after that initial middle-of-the-night thought I have these musings I wanted to share.

Between Coronavirus and distance learning and distance seminary, I think I have enough change Heavenly Father promised me last summer and had me prepare for at the beginning of the year. I am done looking for additional change in the form of breast cancer (I needed several scans and a biopsy to finally tell me I was fine - it was nerve wracking) or a new job. And so far Heavenly Father has blessed my family because of it. 

Matthew is more tuned in and concerned about what is happening in the lives of his children. I have found worthwhile projects to keep me moving forward in positive ways. The kids feel less entitled to going on adventures every day. We finally got around to doing something with the backyard that has plagued Matthew's psyche for a while now (that was partially financed due to refinancing our house and the subsequent two-month hold on mortgage payments). 

We've managed to stay kind and happy despite the stress around us. Our family is surviving and managing to (while I wouldn't use the word "thrive") grow closer together. I am truly grateful for how well life has gone over the last six month. We have been immensely blessed.

Backyard Project Part 3

More work on the patio this week. Between Matthew, my dad, and I we got the rest of the pavers in. (Shoutout goes to the Jones boys who so manfully moved the pavers from the driveway to our backyard. Side note - we can now park on our driveway again!!) So much work. So many steps taken. So many muscles built. At the end of each day we just stood marveling at what we accomplished. So satisfying.

Here is our mostly finished patio. We still have more plants to put into the ground, caps to put onto our columns and some work cleaning up our edges but we are done. It feels so good to be done and not have to spend every waking moment being productive outside. We have been so neglectful of our children that this next week we want to celebrate with a "Last week of summer awesomeness!"

Aumsville Pond

 

Today the kids and I woke up and got our stuff together so we could go with friends to Aumsville Pond to swim. it was so perfect I could hardly stand it. My friend Emily brought an inflatable rowboat the kids were excited to take out by themselves. 

At some point Doodah started floundering and Emily and I told him to row with both oars at the same time and figure it out. Eventually his straits were a bit more dire and I needed to save the day. I walked/jogged to the other side of the lake/pond and jumped into the algae-encrusted water so I could take over the rowing of the little boat. After not much time at all the boat humbled me an I realized poor Doodah never stood a chance.

Chewkie had swam over to him in a life vest with the intent to rescue her brother but I got to him first. I think she felt I stole her rescuing thunder a bit. After only a few minutes of all of us in the boat together, Doodah took the life vest from his sister and swam off on his own back to our part of the shore. 

Chewkie and I did our level best to steer and oar and drunkingly make our way back. Holy Smokes. It was only after seeing Emily also struggle with rowing by herself that I didn't feel quite so bad about myself.

After three hours we decided to leave. The kids were not happy about it. I'm pretty sure they would have stayed to swim all day if I had let them. As we were heading back to the car, Chewkie decided to sit in some very wet, thick mud (see pictures above) which necessitated another trip back to the water to get cleaned off yet again.

It was a wonderful day and none of us can wait to go back again.

The Backyard Project Part 2

We have worked so hard to get all the dirt, gravel, and now bricks into our backyard. Matthew, especially, worked diligently at that gravel making sure it was level and packed down. We have noted many times how neglected our workout equipment have become with the advent of this project.

This weekend was the beginning of the brick and paver work. Matthew, my dad, brother Phillip and I (but mostly Matthew) worked so hard on that wall, complete with pulling out my high school geometry skills not used in as many years to make sure our angles at the corner were just so. We were so proud of that wall and it gave us the confidence to start on paving our new patio.

That's all of the pavers we were able to lay but it is still amazingly satisfying to see that much done and imagine how amazing the rest of it will look.

Shoutout goes to our generous neighbor who lent us his masonry saw.