I spoke in church this morning. I think this talk makes three in less than a year which is definitely the most I've ever spoken. But I learn so much when I prepare to speak, and our ward has gotten so small, that I actually don't mind.
Here are my remarks
Good morning my darling brothers and sisters. I have never lived in anywhere this long and I love how much you have all come to mean to me in the 7+ years we have lived and served among you.
Last fall, I was fortunate to have the choice to start working again. Not full-time, but with the kids in school and virtually no demands on my time, going from nothing to anything definitely made me have to re-prioritize my commitments. No longer could I say yes to every invitation.
This has been a year of growth for me as I’ve learned to say no to some good things, yes to some better things, and ask for help from a loving Heavenly Father to help me figure out which is which.
I am not great at multi-tasking and I can be single-minded in whatever path I pursue so I am ashamed to admit that at times this year, I have wished that others asked for less of my time so I could just focus on getting myself and my family taken care of. Have you ever felt that way? Is it just me? To think, I’m working hard to be self-sufficient, why can’t everyone else do the same and leave me alone? What a jerk-face.
So when I was asked to sub seminary this week about Christ’s grace and speak on the very same topic, I took it as a sign that this was something God wanted me studying. Given my recent thoughts, it didn’t come as a surprise.
So here, is a little stream of consciousness of what I’ve gained this week about my topic of grace.
First some scriptures. I’m going to read them, and then, just as I have my students do, I’m going to summarize them in my own words.
2 Corinthians 12:9 - And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
ME: Christ’s strength and glory is most evidenced when helping us with our weaknesses.
Moroni 10:32 - Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfected in Christ: and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.
ME: When we come to Christ and love him completely, He has the power to perfect us and make us whole.
Elder Uchtdorf - A powerful expression of [God’s] love is what the scriptures often call the grace of God - the divine assistance and endowment of strength by which we grow from the flawed and limited beings we are now into exalted beings of “truth and light until we are glorified in truth and know all things.”
ME: Christ’s grace, an expression of His love, His Atoning sacrifice, gives us the space to give up our old selves and become the people He needs us to be.
Those are my grace scriptures. Now, here are some other scriptures and quotes that come to the point I really want to talk about.
Luke 22:32 - But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.
Me: Your conversion is not just for you. Use it to help others.
John 13:34-35 - A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
ME: God will know that we love Him when we follow His example to love as He loves.
Doctrine and Covenants 128:15 - And now, my dearly beloved brethren and sisters, let me assure you that these are principles in relation to the dead and the living that cannot be lightly passed over, as pertaining to our salvation. For their salvation is necessary and essential to our salvation, as Paul says concerning the fathers - that they without us cannot be made perfect - neither we without our dead be made perfect.
ME: We will never be perfect unless we are bringing others with us, on both sides of the veil.
Elder Holland - Little wonder that King Benjamin says we obtain a remission of sins by pleading to God, who compassionately responds, but we retain a remission of our sins by compassionately responding to the poor who plead to us.
So I come back to my original thought - I’m working hard to be self-sufficient, why can’t everyone else do the same? Why can’t we just be islands working out our own salvation?
The answer is given in the two great commandments to love God and to love one another. Our loving Heavenly Parents sent us to earth in families for a reason. They gave us weaknesses so we would turn to Their son Jesus Christ AND others for a reason. They ask us to attend church with others who experience the gospel of Jesus Christ differently than us and ask us to serve each other for a reason. We were never meant to be islands. We are social beings for a reason. Even the blessed introverts among us aren’t meant to be islands.
We are meant to be interdependent on each other, to help God in Their work and Their glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of mankind. It’s Their work and it’s Their glory, but it is our blessing to be a part of it. And we can only be a part of it if we are on the grid, socially speaking.
How does all of this come back to grace. Christ offers His grace freely to us as we turn to Him. That grace enables us help and joy in this world and eternal salvation in the world to come. I have felt His grace strengthen me time and time again as I’ve served in callings, struggled with motherhood, and life in general. Every day I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me, confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.
But sometimes Christ uses the people around us to be the strengths for our weaknesses. I think of Moses when God tells him to go and deliver Israel. Moses gives a lot of excuses as to why he is unfit for the job. At first God gives Moses evidence of the Power He is going to give Him to wield. Yet when Moses complains that he is slow of speech and slow of tongue, Christ doesn’t make that weakness a strength for Him, rather He provides Aaron, his brother to be his spokesperson. I love that 1. He gets to reunite and grow a relationship with his brother, 2. His brother gets to serve alongside and grow in His own salvation, 3. They are inextricably linked in their goal to deliver Israel.
I find this a regular theme in my life. Sometimes God strengthens me in my weaknesses through His grace, but oftentimes He puts someone in my path to be the strength for me. I have loved serving alongside you and learning and benefiting from your own strengths. Whether that be your gentle kindness, your eloquence, your ability to see others needs, your steadfastness in the face of crushing adversity. I have learned so much from my ward family.
I also think of marriage and it’s pairing of unlike individuals who strengthen each other. Matthew is good at seeing the big picture. I am not. I get way too excited about the details that I can’t step back and see where the issues might be. So when I have an idea about anything, I really appreciate being able to talk it through with him so he can help me notice something I might be missing.
On the other hand, I am good at organizing our family and getting stuff done on mine and our to do lists. That’s not a traditional strength of Matthew’s. God knew we needed each other. To both mentor the other towards being better people and to be the strength the other person needs.
So much of life is that. Strengthening others and sometimes being their strength when they don’t have it for themselves and sometimes letting others do that and be that for us. That is the grace we have to offer and receive from those with whom we are sharing this mortal journey.
I also think of the commandment to forgive others and how grace so beautifully comes into play. I am finding in my own efforts to forgive others and myself that I need the Savior’s help to change the hard feelings that come so quickly at times. I am generally not an easy to offend kind of person, but Matthew is helping me to see that my son’s high expectations for life come from my side of the gene pool. Together we struggle with moving forward when expectations aren’t met and we don’t understand why. Forgiveness can be hard to muster and I often find myself unable to do it without the Savior’s enabling grace. And yet, giving that grace to others that I so frequently need for myself is precisely what we have been asked to do. So I am working on those darned expectations of mine. I’m working on giving grace to others and myself more freely.
Another way to give grace to others is through patience. Giving someone space to make mistakes and loving them despite them. That doesn’t mean we are to allow others to repeatedly walk all over us, but it does mean that when my child forgets to hang up their wet towel yet again, I can be patient and remember they aren’t purposefully forgetting just to make me angry and I can maybe hang it up for them just this once or twice or three times.
We can also give each other more grace by not judging others and loving them the way we are loved by our Heavenly Parents and by Jesus Christ. Because, that grace, that love, that sanctification He offers us isn’t just for our salvation but so that we can help others along that same covenant path. And we can’t help others along that path if we are more focused on judging then loving.
We are a human family who all chose to come to earth. Christ atoned for our sins on an individual basis, and it is only through Him that we can receive eternal life but we need each other to get through this life too. It feels like the Pandemic taught us all that. We need each other to learn about Him, to practice on each other the principles He taught, to help and be helped as circumstances dictate. It takes vulnerability. It takes grace on everyone’s part, God’s included, to enable do overs and strength in times of weakness. I love The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know that even though we as members of the Church aren’t perfect, that what is perfect is us coming together week after week and day after day of serving each other and learning from each other. I know that Christ loved us enough to atone for our sins, and our weaknesses, and our hard things in part to enable us to love others like He does. I know that our capacity to love and serve will look different from day to day and year to year, but as we try our best, God will accept our offerings and perfect them for our good and the good of those we are trying to love.
President Nelson - “Giving help to others - making a conscientious effort to care about others as much as or more than we care about ourselves - is our joy. Especially, I might add, when it is not convenient and when it takes us out of our comfort zone. Living that second great commandment is the key to becoming a true disciple of Jesus Christ.”
But as King Benjamin said in Mosiah 4:27 - See that all these things are done in wisdom and order, for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore all things must be done in order.
I have loved thinking about our need for each other and how I have been offered grace in the last few years.
I have felt grace from Matthew when I asked for help around the house as I try to finish up my busy season and he lovingly picked up the slack.
I felt grace at work, when I didn’t know what I was doing, and my clients and coworkers were kind and patient with me and my shortcomings.
I felt grace from my children when I, once again, had to apologize for another day’s bad behavior, only for them to freely forgive me and tell me I am the best mom.
I felt grace from Bishop Harrington when I was serving as Young Women’s President and he pulled me aside to gave me tender admonishment and counsel on how to do better.
I felt grace from my Sunday School students and their parents as I try to love them and learn to teach them in ways that will be meaningful to them.
I know that as we strive to give the same grace Christ offers to us to ourselves and those around us, no matter how big or small that might be, we will all grow closer to our Savior together and be saved as a human family.
