For the last few years I decided that I had no reason to dread turning 30. In fact I told a few people that I saw no reason to not be 30 now. After all, it's just an age, what's the big deal? A few months ago, somewhere after turning 29, I realized that 30 does bother me after all. But it's not the number so much as the looking that number. For much of my life, thanks to my late birthday I have been the youngest in most groups. Youngest in classes, youngest in relationships. It became part of my identity. And what do the 20's symbolize if not youth? Who wouldn't want to look 25 for the rest of their lives? And not that 30 is old, it's just not 2_. It has been hard coming to terms with looking somewhere past that seeming prime of life. Somehow 30 seems to mark the beginning of the end, and I'm just not sure how comfortable I am with watching my body slowly atrophy.
I thought I was alone in my vain notions until I talked to my dad about his milestone birthday commemorated on March 2. It turns out he is just as unsure about whether he wants to look like a man in his 60's. I was so relieved to know that I wasn't alone in my age insecurities. Because while I wouldn't change my life experiences for the world, and will probably not do too much to unnaturally alter my appearance, growing old seems kind of dreary.
Please tell me how wrong I am.
2 comments:
Of course you're wrong :)
If people don't know me well, they always guess I'm about 10 years younger than I really am, using my physical appearance as the lone gauge. Although most people politely underestimate a person's age.
Still, your 30's are some of the best years you can have: you still look youthful, you can still maintain a high-level of physical activity, and your mind is alive and active and so much wiser than it was 10 years ago.
Honestly, I don't think your dad looks anything like 60, so your shared genes should treat you similarly well.
I had all the normal fears of turning 30 also. Infact I cried when I woke up on my 28th birthday thinking I only had one more year to go to the big 3-0...and shortly realized after that I really had 2 more years to go and had only turned 28...thats old age messing with your brain at its best. haha But after all my very normal worries like everyon else gets, I hit 30...and honestly its been the best time of my life. Still fun and young, yet we get that mixture of really being adults and finding ourselves in a weird way. Were adults now....and its fantastic. And dont you worry, you look FANTASTIC at your age. :) xoxo
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