As always I apologize for what some might consider over sharing. Please forgive me. Please also don't ask what provokes me to share some of the most intimate details of my life for the entire world (who reads English).
At my Doctor's appointment the other day, I got the news. I am officially, most likely not able to conceive children without the aid of modern science. It was an interesting experience. I was caught off guard, and obviously devastated, but mercifully (for everyone involved) calm and rational as I listened to my doctor and then his nurse run through my various options of what to do next. I collected all sorts of information, went home, and told a very compassionate husband the news. IVF aka invitro fertilization aka super expensive, non-insurance covered procedure, is most likely our best shot at starting a family of our very own. For years, we have said "No, we hate you, IVF. You are too expensive." But somehow, hearing the official news, makes parting with the money a touch easier. Because when all is said and done, which do we want more, a house or a family; a new car (one with working AC and trunk) or a family; a cruise next summer or a family? As much as I would love that cruise a family is just more important. So we will suck it up, pull out our long-term savings and say, "you better be grateful you expensive baby you."
6 comments:
Knowledge is power and now you know how to move forward! Best of luck with procedures. Much love!
I hope you don't ever say that last sentence to your child to be, because I can guarantee you that that child will never understand and appreciate you to the extent you deserve.
You will be in our prayers - I hope all goes well!
I am so grateful you write about all your details. That time of life when I sat behind a desk and you would come to me and relate all your random (and important!) happenings was too short. Your presence, even if via blog, continues to enrich and bless my life, and I love you for it!
Nothing is impossible with God! I know that for myself. Thank you for your example (yet again) of living the gospel with purpose and faith. I love you.
Sarah, my friend-
thank you for sharing this news with us. My heart hurts with you, that is hard news to hear and if I could I would give you a hug so hard your eyes would pop out. But that wouldn't do you any good, becuase you'll need those eyes some day to see your babies. :)
I am praying for you, friend- praying the Lord will give you both wisdom and the resources to move forward with whatever plan He has for you to be a family- I trust he will honor your desire to be a mother- keep us up to date so we can pray for you.
-Nicole
Sara - As one who has gone through a very similar situation as you (We are officially labeled as infertile as well.), I am grateful you share your experiences, thoughts, triumphs and heartbreaks. It is what makes you for you. And I promise that all this heartbreak, disappointment, and broken dreams will mold you into a wiser, more compassionate woman than you already are.
When people ask us why we haven't bought a house I always tell them "We had to chose between a house or our two kids. We chose our kids." My dear friend told me when I said that to her "It isn't about choosing one dream over the other, it is just about postponing some dreams for the one that matters the most."
So - all the other things will come to you eventually. You will just have some sweet babies to go with you on that cruise and ride in that new car with working AC and have their own bedroom in that house you bought.
Love you!
Kristi
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