You're gonna be Pop-u-u-lar

I think I have mentioned how much I love the women in my ward here in State College. I feel like I have found my people. I love the women, and they seem to love me in return, it's fabulous! I even feel sometimes that I might actually be popular here. I don't think I've ever felt that in my life - especially high school. High school (in Oregon) was not a cherished time of life for me.
In my excitement, I called my little sister to tell her the good news. Totally silly, I confess, but for a girl who has struggled with this for the better part of my life, I was excited. When I told my sister I thought I might be popular here in SC, I completely expected her to say, "oh yeah, you were lame in high school." But instead, she surprised me with, "if you weren't popular in high school it was all your own choosing. Sara," she said, "it's not that you were unpopular. No one made fun of you, you weren't an outcast." She, of course, is right. It's not that people hated me, it is more that I didn't "feel" accepted so I pulled into myself.
I think, to a certain extent, I did the same thing in college. People liked me well enough, but I wasn't confident enough in myself to believe them. I was too busy analyzing their every act to figure out if they actually liked me. is this person inviting me because they like me, or was I included because all my roommates were invited? Are they just being polite? Even the many friends who came to my surprise birthday party my sister arranged, are they here for me, or because my sister asked them to be here and they wanted something to do on a Friday night?
It wasn't until my mid 20's that I began to gain enough confidence and self-acceptance to not worry so much. Since then, I have enjoyed my relationships more and more. To the point, now, that I feel like I could actually be popular. That sounds so high school lame, but it is a big breakthrough for me.
As my mother said, when I called to tell her, "everyone should be popular at some point in their lives."
So thank you Megan for lovingly guiding me through some much needed personal self-realization. What a lovely gift!! I love you!