I have issues. Everyone has them, mine generally tend towards comparing myself to others. I will be 37 in a few months, and while it is not very old compared to some, it is too old to still harbor these feelings of inadequacy because others have "more" or "better" than me. Most recently I look at others who may be younger than or the same age as me, but whose children are much older than mine and I find myself thinking they must be wiser than me. That because Heavenly Father decided to wait to bless me with children I am somehow less. Now it may be true that I have less child-rearing wisdom than others who have older children, no matter their age in relation to mine, that doesn't mean I haven't gained in other areas.
I have known the joy of having a successful career. I've travelled for work, been respected by colleagues, and gained confidence that no matter what life may throw at me, I will be able to provide for myself and my family. I may have opted to forego that career in lieu of my family but it is a choice that I would happily make again and again despite the blow to my ego from time to time. I have gained understanding and compassion through volunteering at many points in my adult life because I had the time available to me. I have gained skills and hobbies and the joy of creation because I had the time to explore myself and what makes me happy outside of husband, children and work. I have known what it is to wait upon the Lord and His timing in a way that was perfect for me to witness the love of my Heavenly Father for me as an individual. I have been made better by many wonderful roommates. I have lived in fun cities and known the thrill of being able to start a life somewhere new on my own. I have spent quality time in the temple. I have spent money on myself completely guilt free.
I may have a different path than many of my peers who got married in college or directly after. I may have started my family after many of my friends and siblings were already done with theirs; but my path is just as beautiful and fulfilling and I am oh so thankful for the opportunity to remember why.
1 comment:
Once again Dear Sariah you uplifted your dear old dad. Thank you so much for your posts. They do my heart good in so many ways. I love your thoughtful insights, your humor, the pictures, but most of all, your love of your Lord, Jesus Christ, and your family and life in general. In a word, they make me grateful that I have the honor and privilege of being your father.
Thought you might want to know that. :>)
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